There is no affection left between us, no hugs, no kind words, no smiles. Can a child feel the absence even if we are polite and functioning? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of an Emotional Drought 

Children do not need their parents to be perfect, but they do need warmth. A child absorbs the emotional temperature of the home when affection is absent, including but not limited to physical contact, kind tones, shared laughter, and soft glances. Even if parents are polite and follow routines perfectly, the lack of outward love might cause a silent inner agony in the child. They may begin to internalise the idea that relationships are designed to feel distant, that survival is more essential than joy, and that love entails performing obligations without emotional connection. 

A Strategy for Reintroducing Warmth 

You do not have to force something you no longer feel. Instead, begin by identifying how your relationship is influencing your child’s emotional blueprint. Small intentional behaviours, such as saying thank you aloud, making a light comment at the dinner table, sitting together without screens, or simply asking one other how their days were, can help change the environment. If your relationship is strained beyond that, at the absolute least, support your child’s emotional tone. Children thrive on warmth, and even if it does not come from romantic closeness, it can come from shared decency, gentleness, and mutual respect that they can see, feel, and pass on. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam respects both the legal and emotional aspects of marriage. Mercy, affection, and apparent kindness are not luxuries; they are manifestations of divine harmony in the home. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 74: 

‘And those people that say: O our Sustainer, Grant to us (those circumstances that) makes our spouses and our offspring, a comfort for our eyes; and make us from those that have attained piety, and a role model.’ 

This supplication serves as a reminder that true comfort in family life is derived not only from outward appearance, but also from the inner serenity and affection shared behind closed doors. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 2593, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah is kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity. ‘

This Hadith demonstrates that kindness is not a decorative trait, but rather an evidence of divine favour. If love feels lost, compassion is the bridge that can gradually restore it. Even when reconciliation between spouses is tough, children must never be denied the opportunity to experience tenderness, because it is through these tender moments that they learn how love should feel.