Parenting Perspective 

When children witness tension between their parents, even if it is just raised voices or sharp words, it can leave them feeling unsettled, insecure, or even guilty. A child’s mind can often misinterpret conflict, assuming they are the cause or that the family’s love is breaking. A structured plan for reassurance and repair is essential for restoring their sense of safety. 

Acknowledge the Tension Calmly 

Address what they have seen with a simple and calm statement. You could say, ‘You may have noticed we were a bit upset earlier. That can happen sometimes, but we are okay now, and everyone is safe’. 

Reaffirm Your Love 

It is crucial to remind your child directly that the family bond is still strong. A clear statement like, ‘Mummy and Daddy love each other very much, and we both love you. Arguments do not change that’ can be deeply reassuring for them. 

Offer Stability Through Routine 

Quickly return to your normal family routines, whether it is having a meal, reading a bedtime story, or playing a game. Consistency signals safety and helps a child to feel that their world is predictable and secure again. 

Model Resolution 

Let your children see you and your spouse being kind to one another again after the tension has passed. A smile, a gentle word, or a small act of teamwork is a powerful signal of repair that speaks louder than any explanation. 

Invite Questions Briefly 

Allow your child to share any worries they might have, but be careful to answer lightly, without sharing too many details about the disagreement. The goal is to listen to their fears and offer comfort, not to involve them in the adult issue. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages reconciliation, mercy, and self-control in all situations. Protecting a child from fear after they have witnessed a conflict is part of the sacred trust (amānah) of parenthood. By modelling calmness and kindness after a moment of tension, parents can heal their child’s fears and also demonstrate the proper way for a believer to resolve differences. 

A Quranic Reminder on Reconciliation 

The Quran commands believers to actively mend their relationships and to prioritise peace and unity, as this is a sign of true piety. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 1: 

‘…So, seek piety from Allah (Almighty), and correct all matters (in the relationships) between yourselves; and obey Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ), if you are true believers.’ 

This reminds us that mending relationships is an act of obedience to Allah. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Mending Ties 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that believers should not allow disagreements to fester, but should be quick to reconcile with one another. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6237, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days, the better of the two is the one who greets the other first.’ 

This teaches us that Islam values quick reconciliation and kindness after a conflict. 

By offering words of reassurance, showing affectionate behaviour towards each other, and returning to normal routines, you can demonstrate to your children that your family’s unity remains intact. Their hearts can then settle, secure in the knowledge that while tension may be temporary, the family’s love, mercy, and faith endure.