Parenting Perspective 

Children are quick to notice if their parents seem to be competing for influence, affection, or authority. When they sense this kind of rivalry, they may feel pressured to ‘choose a side’, which can weaken their sense of security in the home. To help your children see your parenting as a partnership, it is important that you model the qualities of cooperation, unity, and a shared sense of purpose. This helps to reassure your child that their well-being is at the centre of your family, not your parental pride. 

Speak with One Voice 

It is helpful to use the word ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ when you are explaining your family’s rules or decisions. For example, ‘We expect your homework to be done before you have any playtime.’ This simple practice prevents your child from viewing their parents as opponents. 

Share and Rotate Parenting Roles Publicly 

You can alternate your responsibilities, for instance with one parent helping with bedtime and the other with schoolwork, and you can mention this out loud by saying, ‘Daddy helped you with this part, and now Mummy is going to take over.’ This simple practice makes your teamwork visible to them. 

Avoid Making Comparisons 

Never say things like, ‘I am the one who does more than your mum/dad,’ or, ‘You see, my way of doing things works much better.’ These kinds of remarks can only foster a sense of competition, rather than unity. 

Celebrate Each Other’s Efforts in Front of Your Child 

You can say to your child, ‘We are so lucky that Mummy is so patient,’ or, ‘Daddy works so hard so that we can learn new things.’ This kind of joint appreciation shows your child that your different strengths are complementary, not competing. 

Create Shared Family Rituals 

Shared family prayers, mealtimes, or regular storytelling sessions are all ways to demonstrate your partnership in action, which teaches your child that unity is a normal and cherished part of your family life. 

When parents are able to consistently act as a team, their children can grow up associating the idea of parenting with cooperation, not with rivalry. 

Spiritual Insight 

Partnership as a Reflection of Mercy and Balance 

Islam honours the unity of the family as a sacred trust (amanah) and encourages believers to support one another in acts of goodness. The act of parenting as a partnership is a reflection of the prophetic model of mercy, balance, and shared responsibility. 

Supporting One Another in Righteousness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verses 2: 

‘…And participate with each other to promote righteousness and piety, and do not collaborate in the committal of any sin or moral transgression…’ 

This verse reminds us that the act of cooperating in all things that are good is something that strengthens our families and is pleasing to Allah. 

Protectors of Each Other 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 481, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer to another believer is like a building whose different parts enforce one another.’ 

This hadith teaches us that parenting should be seen as an act of mutual support and benefit, not as a form of rivalry. The more that parents are able to support each other, the greater the benefit that will flow to their child. By speaking with one voice, celebrating each other’s unique contributions, and cooperating in goodness, parents can show their child that their love is not about competition, but is about partnership. This nurtures a deep sense of stability and respect, helping the child to grow in confidence, gratitude, and faith.