Parenting Perspective 

When a child is excluded from a school clique because they do not have the latest gadgets or clothes, it can cause deep and painful emotional wounds. Children have a strong need to belong, and being rejected for purely material reasons can make them feel as though they are being rejected for who they are as a person. 

The Emotional Impact of Exclusion 

The excluded child is likely to feel lonely, unworthy, and inferior. They may begin to internalise the harmful belief that friendships are conditional, which can damage their confidence and their ability to trust others in the future. 

Common Behavioural Reactions 

Children may react to this form of social rejection in different ways. 

• Some might try to regain acceptance by pressuring their parents to buy them expensive items they cannot afford. 

• Others may withdraw socially, avoiding activities altogether to protect themselves from further hurt. 

• A few may become resentful, which can lead to anger or other disruptive behaviours at school. 

The Long-Term Risks 

Being excluded based on material status can teach a child the damaging lesson that a person’s value lies in their possessions rather than their character. This undermines the development of resilience, gratitude, and the ability to form genuine, healthy friendships later in life. 

How to Help Your Child Navigate Exclusion 

Parents can offer crucial support to help their child process these feelings. 

• Validate their feelings of hurt while gently affirming that their true worth is not defined by material things. 

• Encourage friendships with peers who share values of kindness and sincerity, rather than focusing on status. 

• Remind them that their exclusion reflects the shallow values of others, not a personal failure on their part. 

• Build their confidence through family activities that highlight their unique strengths and talents. 

Through consistent reassurance, parents can teach their children to find strength in their own character instead of seeking approval based on shallow standards. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that a person’s true honour is based on their righteousness and character, not on their wealth or social status. Excluding someone for material reasons is an act that contradicts these core principles and reflects a shallow, worldly mindset. 

A Reminder of Where True Nobility Lies 

The Quran makes it clear that social standing and possessions have no weight in the sight of Allah. True dignity is tied only to one’s piety. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘…Indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous…’ 

This verse affirms that our honour with Allah is determined by our character and consciousness of Him, not by our popularity or possessions. 

Prophetic Guidance on Brotherhood 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the bonds between believers should be based on sincerity and mutual respect, not on competition or exclusion. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not envy one another, do not inflate prices for one another, do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, but be servants of Allah as brothers.’ 

This hadith sets a clear standard for social interaction, condemning the envy and rivalry that lead to the formation of exclusive cliques. 

By teaching children that friendships built on materialism are often shallow and temporary, parents can help them see social exclusion as a form of protection, not a personal loss. This nurtures resilience and gratitude, reminding the child that their worth is defined by their character and their relationship with Allah, not by the possessions they may or may not have.