My child tries to speak when we are talking and we often say, ‘Not now.’ Could we be teaching them their voice does not matter? 

Parenting Perspective 

Yes, repeatedly ignoring a child’s attempt to talk, even with terms like ‘Not now’, can teach them that their voice is a disruption rather than a contribution. While it is obvious that adults require uninterrupted time to communicate, if a child is repeatedly shut down without follow-up, they begin to internalise a message: My opinions are not significant enough to be heard. This might result in self-doubt, reluctance to communicate emotions, and even attention-seeking behaviour later on. 

The idea is not to allow children to interrupt, but to teach them that waiting does not imply being ignored. A little change, such as resting a soothing touch on their shoulder and saying, “I want to hear you, let me finish this sentence, and then I am all ears,” might reassure them that their voice is important. And most importantly, follow through – give them your entire attention. By showing boundaries and respect, you may teach your child patience without making them feel invisible. What children learn is more than just conversation manners. They discover whether the people they love will make room for them or if being small means remaining silent. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages us to respect the dignity of every person, regardless of age – particularly the weak. The Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ never dismissed children who approached him. He listened attentively, even if others may have considered it insignificant. He demonstrated to the ummah that being present is a form of love by elevating their voices via patience, laughter, and attentiveness. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 9: 

‘And let those people (who are the guardians and executors of orphans) be anxious; as if they had left behind them offspring who were feeble (morally and intellectually), and they were concerned about their (future); so (act in such a manner) that you may attained piety from Allah (Almighty), and speak with (the (poor and the orphans,with) appropriate words of comfort.’ 

Though the verse is about guardianship, it serves as a reminder that justice encompasses the way we talk and respond to individuals in our care. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2761c, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, 

‘A believer is self-respecting and Allah is extremely self-respecting. ‘

Self-respect involves being heard as well and this shows us that allowing a child’s voice to be heard is more than a courtesy; it is a form of Amanah, or trust for which we are responsible. When we sincerely listen, even after a delay, we honour our children’s trust and show them that they are seen and cherished.