I find myself rolling my eyes or sighing when my spouse does things ‘wrong’. Our child watches this silently. What is that teaching them about respect? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Unspoken Lesson 

Small gestures, such as eye-rolling, sighing, or dismissive looks, can have a lasting impact on your child’s comprehension of the appropriate behaviour towards others in intimate relationships, even if they are not aware of it. Children may not always grasp the context, but they are extremely sensitive to tone, expression, and emotional subtext. When children see one parent discreetly dismissing the other, they may learn that disparaging someone is an appropriate way to vent dissatisfaction, or, worse, that love and disrespect can coexist. 

A Strategy for Change 

This does not mean you must agree with everything your spouse does. However, it requires learning to handle annoyance in a dignified manner, particularly in front of your child. Instead of a sigh or gesture, try naming the feeling later in private: “I felt frustrated when…” This exemplifies effective self-regulation and straightforward communication. With your child, you can even gently correct yourself aloud if you slip: “Oops, I made a face, I was tired, but I should have used better words.” That vulnerability is powerful. It teaches your child that respect is not about perfection, but about accountability. Over time, these tiny changes create a home in which even disagreements are handled maturely and gracefully. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, manners are more than just superficial gestures; they are expressions of the heart. Even when companions made mistakes, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ never used sarcasm, dismissiveness, or demeaning language. He corrected with gentleness, answered calmly, and refrained from passing judgement in public. His home reflected dignity rather than dominance. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: 

‘And informed My servants that they should speak in only the most politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan (is always ready) to infuse anarchy between them…’ 

Even when correcting or disagreeing, the guideline is to use the most appropriate words and manner. This applies not only to words, but also to expressions, gestures, and tone. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1977, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer does not insult others, does not curse others, is not vulgar, and is not shameless. ‘

Your children are silently absorbing what you think love and respect look like. Allow children to observe an uplifting kind of love, one that corrects without contempt and teaches that irritation never warrants ridicule. In doing so, you are raising not only a child, but also a future husband, sibling, and believer who realises that respect for others starts at home.