I feel constantly overwhelmed, but my child only hears my spouse being thanked. How do I address this without making it about ego, but about visibility? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of Unbalanced Recognition 

You are not looking for attention; you are attempting to keep your child from normalising a subtle injustice. When one parent is constantly praised while the other goes unrecognised, it sends the unintentional message that some activities are more deserving of recognition than others. And children internalise this, learning to anticipate gratitude only for things that are obvious, loud, or traditionally valued, such as cash supply or tasks outside the home. Quiet labour, emotional load, and unseen work all lose value. 

A Strategy for Visibility and Harmony 

Instead of expecting to be appreciated, demonstrate self-respect by taking visible ownership of your efforts. Say things aloud in a friendly, neutral tone: “I spent an hour folding laundry and now I feel like I need a break.” Not bitter or theatrical, just factual. This makes your work visible and valuable. More importantly, it teaches your child that everyone’s effort is part of the household’s peace. Later, have a calm, private chat with your spouse: “I understand you do not mean to ignore my position, but our child is learning which parent is appreciated. I want them to grow up believing in shared gratitude, not silent burnout.” Your goal is not applause. It is about harmony. And your child deserves to witness it in action. 

Spiritual Insight 

Gratitude in Islam is a spiritual transaction that involves both a right and an obligation. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ intentionally expressed gratitude. He cherished every pleasant act, regardless of its size. Whether it was Aisha (RA) providing him water or a companion offering guidance, he repaid acknowledgement with gentleness and sincerity, as thankfulness develops not only hearts but also houses. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Insaan (76), Verse 9: 

‘Indeed, (they say in their hearts): We are only feeding you for the sake of Allah (Almighty); we do not seek from you any reward or any gratitude.’ 

The verse reflects the spiritual dignity of giving without seeking recompense, yet Islam also teaches that receiving with thanks is equally important. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 11951, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever is not grateful to people is not grateful to Allah. ‘

This hadith is not a reprimand. It is a redirection. Your child must learn that gratitude is not reserved for the conspicuous parent or the loudest effort. It belongs to any hand that lifts, supports, or gives. And by gently uncovering your contributions, you are teaching children to value justice, without complaining, ego, or forgetting Allah in the process.