Parenting Perspective 

When a child sees their friends showing off the latest gadgets promoted in online adverts, it can trigger a difficult mix of envy, inadequacy, and social pressure. Advertising plants the idea that these items equal happiness, and seeing peers with them makes this message feel much more personal and urgent. 

Feelings of Exclusion and Inferiority 

A child might start to think, ‘Everyone else has one, so why do I not?’ This can lead to them feeling left out of conversations or activities, which in turn can be damaging to their confidence and sense of belonging within their friendship group. 

Pressure on Identity and Friendships 

Some children may begin to connect the idea of friendship with owning certain possessions, worrying that they need the latest gadgets to be liked or accepted. Others might withdraw, feeling a sense of shame that they are unable to keep up with what their friends have. 

Creating Strain Within the Family 

This feeling of being left out can cause a child to become frustrated with their parents, wrongly assuming they are being deprived intentionally. This can create unnecessary conflict, particularly if parents are unable or choose not to purchase the same items. 

Guiding a Child Through Peer Pressure 

Parents can help to ease these feelings with a calm and reassuring approach. 

• Acknowledge the child’s disappointment without being critical of their feelings. 

• Teach them that friends are valued for their character and kindness, not for their possessions. 

• Encourage pride in what they already have, while offering meaningful, non-material alternatives such as family experiences or creative projects. 

By taking these steps, parents can help their children build resilience against the pressure to measure their worth by what their peers own. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that envy and the habit of comparing oneself to others can be harmful to both the heart and our relationships. While the desire to have what others possess is a natural human feeling, it can weaken gratitude and fuel discontent if it is not managed. 

The Islamic Warning Against Envy 

The Quran reminds us that Allah distributes His blessings differently among people, and that wishing for what someone else has is a source of inner turmoil. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 32: 

‘ And do not begrudge what benefactions have been given by Allah (Almighty), some of you instead of others…’ 

This powerful verse guides us to find peace with our own provisions rather than becoming distressed by wanting the blessings given to others. 

Prophetic Guidance on Envy’s Dangers 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ issued a stark warning about the destructive nature of envy, explaining how it can spiritually bankrupt a person. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4210, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Beware of envy, for indeed envy consumes good deeds just as fire consumes wood.’ 

This hadith teaches that envy is not a harmless emotion; it is a destructive force that can erase the reward for our good actions. 

Helping Children Reframe Their Values 

By teaching children to view possessions as temporary and to focus instead on gratitude, kindness, and personal effort, parents can protect them from the emptiness of envy. This nurtures a spirit of contentment and helps children to value their friendships based on genuine connection, not material competition.