Parenting Perspective 

When cultural jokes poke fun at gender roles, such as mocking boys for being sensitive or belittling girls for being ambitious, children often internalise these harmful messages. Although they are often dismissed as ‘just jokes’, they can slowly chip away at a child’s confidence, teaching them that stepping outside of rigid stereotypes will lead to ridicule. 

Undermining Confidence Through Humour 

What may seem like harmless humour to an adult can feel like a direct criticism to a child. These jokes can make a child feel that their natural inclinations are something to be ashamed of, which can be a heavy burden for them to carry. 

Restricting a Child’s Aspirations 

Such jokes can discourage children from exploring their natural talents if those talents are not considered ‘traditional’ for their gender. A girl who is told that women belong only in the kitchen may feel unworthy of pursuing leadership roles. A boy who hears that men should not be emotional may learn to suppress his empathy. These limitations can narrow their potential and their belief in what they can achieve. 

Creating Emotional Conflicts 

Children may begin to feel torn between their authentic selves and cultural expectations. A girl who excels in science might feel pressure to downplay her success to avoid mockery, while a gentle boy may feel ashamed of his nature. This internal conflict can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, or even rebellious behaviour. 

How to Nurture True Self-Belief 

Parents can protect their children from these limiting messages. 

• Explain that cultural jokes do not define truth and often reflect outdated or incorrect ways of thinking. 

• Affirm your child’s unique strengths and encourage them to explore all of their interests freely. 

• Model respect in the home by ensuring that both genders contribute equally and are valued for their efforts. 

• Correct harmful comments gently but firmly, so that children learn that such stereotypes should not be accepted as normal. 

This support allows children to develop a self-belief that is based on their character and abilities, not on limiting cultural jokes. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours both men and women, establishing their worth based on righteousness and piety, not on restrictive cultural roles. Jokes that limit or belittle either gender contradict the Quranic principle of mutual respect and dignity. 

A Quranic Reminder on the Equality of Worth 

The Quran makes it clear that in the sight of Allah, both men and women are judged and rewarded equally for their righteous deeds. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 97: 

‘ Whoever undertakes virtuous actions – whether a male or female – and is of Muslim faith; We (Allah Almighty) shall surely sustain him with a life of purity; and We shall certainly reward them with recompense which befits the best of their actions.‘ 

This verse highlights that men and women are honoured equally by Allah for their deeds, not for conforming to cultural stereotypes. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Respecting Women 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the measure of a man’s good character is reflected in how he treats the women in his family. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most perfect of the believers in faith are those best in character, and the best of you are those who are best to their women.’ 

This hadith shows that true honour comes from good character and mutual respect, not from belittling others through crude humour. 

By teaching children that Allah values righteousness and kindness above all cultural labels, parents can free them from the limits imposed by gender-based jokes. This strengthens their self-belief and helps them to see themselves as dignified and capable individuals whose potential is guided by faith, not by stereotypes.