How do I shield them from relatives who label them ‘slow’? 

Parenting Perspective 

Family gatherings can be joyous, but they sometimes bring difficult moments when relatives make careless remarks about a child’s pace of growth. A well-meaning relative may say, ‘Why is she still not walking?’, or a cousin might compare progress by labelling the child as ‘slow’. While these comments may not be intended to harm, they can deeply affect a child’s confidence if left unaddressed. As a parent, your role is to shield your child from these words while also teaching them to see themselves with dignity and worth. 

Intervening with Calm Assertiveness 

The first step is intervening with calm assertiveness when the comment is made in your child’s presence. If a relative uses the word ‘slow’, gently but firmly reframe it. For example, you might respond with, ‘Every child has their own pace, and we are grateful for how beautifully they are growing.’ This models respect for your child and teaches them that their journey is not to be diminished by comparison. 

Managing Boundaries 

It is also important to manage conversations before children overhear them. If you know certain relatives tend to comment, you can prepare by shifting the topic quickly or discussing boundaries privately with them. Politely explain that such labels may affect your child’s confidence and ask for more supportive language. This not only protects your child but also educates others on the importance of kindness. 

Reinforcing Self-Worth 

Within the home, reinforce your child’s sense of worth. Offer consistent reassurance: ‘You are growing in your own special way, and we are proud of you.’ Focus on their strengths and efforts, so they internalise a positive self-image. You should encourage activities where they excel, allowing them to experience joy without the shadow of comparison. 

Building Resilience 

Another important aspect is teaching resilience. Children will inevitably encounter comments from others in life. Equipping them with language to respond, such as, ‘I am learning in my own time,’ can help them feel empowered rather than hurt. This builds long-term confidence and teaches them that others’ words do not define them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great emphasis on protecting others from hurtful speech.¹ Words have power, and labelling someone in a negative way contradicts the teachings of mercy and compassion. Parents can draw strength from Islamic guidance to shield their children from unkind remarks while nurturing patience and gratitude. 

The Prohibition of Offensive Nicknames 

Allah Almighty warns against mockery and negative labels in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verses 11: 

‘O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them. Nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by offensive nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after faith..’ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that labels and mockery are forbidden, as no one knows who is better in the sight of Allah Almighty. After sharing this verse, parents can reflect with their child that being called ‘slow’ is not only inaccurate, but also against Islamic manners. They can gently explain that Allah values effort and sincerity, not speed or comparison. 

Speaking Good or Remaining Silent 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2999, that the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.’ 

This Hadith emphasises that silence is better than words that may harm. Parents can use it to teach children that when others fail to follow this guidance, it reflects on the speaker, not on the child. 

By anchoring responses in these teachings, families can protect their children’s hearts from harmful labels. The child learns that their pace is not a weakness, but part of Allah’s unique design for them. With parental reassurance and the light of Islamic guidance, they grow resilient, confident, and grateful.