Parenting Perspective 

Use Clear, Direct Language 

Teaching right and wrong to a child with ADHD requires patience, understanding, and clear communication. Children with ADHD may struggle with impulsivity, attention issues, and emotional regulation, which can make it challenging for them to fully grasp the consequences of their actions. You can start by creating a structured environment where rules and expectations are clearly defined. Use simple, direct language when you are explaining what is right and wrong. For example, you might say, ‘When you shout at your friends, it hurts their feelings, and that is not kind. We must speak politely to others.’ 

Use Repetition and Visual Aids 

Repetition is key when you are teaching a child with ADHD, as they often need frequent reminders of the rules and their consequences. It can be helpful to make use of visual aids, charts, or a reward system to reinforce good behaviour and to remind your child of the rules. This could involve using a ‘behaviour chart’ to track their progress and to offer praise or small rewards when they follow the rules. For example, ‘If you remember to ask for things politely today, you will earn a star on your chart.’ 

Be Consistent with Consequences 

It is important to be consistent with consequences. Children with ADHD often struggle with impulse control and may not always understand the immediate results of their actions. By consistently applying consequences, whether they are positive or negative, you help them to make the connection between their actions and the outcomes. If your child struggles with impulsivity, try to give them a moment to pause before they react to situations. You might say, ‘Before you take that toy, let us take a deep breath and ask politely.’ Praise your child frequently for their efforts to improve, not just for perfect behaviour. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the concepts of accountability and self-regulation are important. Allah Almighty reminds us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity….’ 

This verse reassures us that Allah understands our capabilities and struggles, and that He gives us the strength to handle our challenges according to our own abilities. By teaching your child right from wrong with patience and understanding, you are helping them to build a sense of responsibility and self-regulation, which is aligned with Islamic teachings. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised patience and kindness when dealing with others. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who can control themselves in moments of anger.’ 

This Hadith highlights the importance of self-control and patience, even in difficult situations. By helping your child with ADHD to learn right from wrong with patience and consistent guidance, you are embodying the values of compassion, understanding, and perseverance as taught in Islam.