What is a kind response when cousins flaunt bigger Eidi amounts? 

Parenting Perspective 

When cousins flaunt larger Eidi amounts, it can be an uncomfortable situation for children, especially if they begin to compare what they have received with others. The desire for fairness and the feeling of being ‘less than’ can be quite strong, even if they understand that money is not the most important thing. As a parent, your role is to help your child process these feelings in a way that emphasises gratitude and contentment, gently redirecting their focus away from comparison. Your response can either worsen their feelings or encourage them to adopt a more mature, gracious perspective. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings 

Start by validating any feelings of jealousy or disappointment they may be experiencing. For example, ‘I understand you might feel upset seeing others receive more. It is normal to feel that way, but let us talk about what really matters’. Acknowledging their emotions shows empathy and makes it easier to guide them toward a healthier mindset. 

Reframe the Situation 

Reframe the situation by emphasising that the value of Eidi is not in the amount, but in the love and intention behind it. You could say, ‘Eidi is a gift given with love; the amount is not important. What matters is the thought behind the gift and the love we share as a family. You are receiving this gift because you are loved, and that is the most important thing’. This perspective shift helps them see that the true value of the gift lies not in its monetary worth but in the kindness with which it is given. 

Focus on Gratitude 

Encourage your child to focus on what they have received with gratitude. ‘We should be thankful for the Eidi we have received, no matter the amount. Let us use it wisely and remember that Allah Almighty blesses us with what we need’. Helping them focus on the blessing of their own gift, rather than on what others have, cultivates appreciation and contentment. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that true wealth is not found in material possessions, but in the peace of heart that comes from gratitude and contentment. The practice of giving and receiving Eidi is not about competition but about fostering love and connection within the family. These small moments of comparison are opportunities to teach children valuable lessons about humility, gratitude, and the importance of intention. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 261: 

‘The example of those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah is like that of a seed of grain that grows seven ears, each bearing one hundred grains.’ 

This verse beautifully illustrates that the true reward is not measured by how much we give, but by the intention behind it. In the context of Eidi, it reminds us that the worth of the gift is not the amount, but the intention to please Allah Almighty and spread joy. For your child, this teaches that the love that comes from giving and receiving is far more important than the size of the gift. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2263, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you is the one whose goodness is hoped for, and people are safe from his evil. And the worst of you is he whose goodness is not hoped for, and people are not safe from his evil.’ 

This hadith reinforces that good character and kindness are the true measures of a person. Teaching your child to focus on the spirit of giving, rather than comparing amounts, helps them grow in contentment and spiritual understanding. 

By guiding your children to appreciate the intention behind their Eidi and to embrace gratitude, you help them develop a sense of peace and contentment, free from the pressures of comparison and materialism.