What harm occurs when children obsess over likes instead of personal growth? 

Parenting Perspective 

The modern culture of ‘likes’, shares, and online validation is profoundly shaping how many children view their own worth. When a child begins to tie their value to the metrics of digital approval, they start to measure their success through fleeting numbers on a screen, rather than through their real effort, their character, or their personal growth. This can cause significant harm to both their self-esteem and their motivation to learn. 

The Dangers of Chasing Digital Approval 

A child who begins to obsess over the number of ‘likes’ they receive can suffer in several ways. 

• They can lose their authentic motivation. Instead of studying, exploring their hobbies, or nurturing their friendships for their own sake, they may begin to do these things only to showcase an image of themselves that they think others will approve of. 

• They can develop a fragile sense of confidence. When the ‘likes’ inevitably stop or decline, they may assume that they are less intelligent, less attractive, or less worthy as a person. 

• They can experience a sense of isolation, as the act of chasing validation online can distance them from the real, human connections that offer genuine warmth and support. 

A more subtle harm is that they may no longer be able to notice and value their own offline progress. A child could overcome their shyness in class or greatly improve their handwriting, but if that achievement is not posted or praised online, they might dismiss it as being worthless. 

Reframing Success in Everyday Life 

A parent can intervene before this negative cycle hardens by consciously reframing what success looks like in their everyday family life. Instead of commenting on the number of ‘likes’ a post has received, a parent might say: 

‘I noticed how patiently you explained your homework to your younger sibling today. That shows a real sense of leadership’. 

Such words help to re-anchor a child’s sense of value in their effort and their character, not in an online reaction. By consistently affirming that their growth, their kindness, their patience, and their sincerity matter far more than their online popularity, a parent can help to plant the seeds of a deep and lasting resilience. 

Spiritual Insight 

This modern-day issue echoes an ancient and timeless spiritual truth: chasing the superficial measures of worldly worth can blind us to what truly matters. The noble Quran consistently directs our hearts towards the values of sincerity and unseen effort, rather than towards a desire for public applause. 

Allah Almighty states in noble Quran at Surah Al Kahf (18), Verse 46: 

‘All wealth and offspring are luxuries of the worldly life, but (the outcomes of) virtuosity shall remain forever, and it is deemed the best (action) to be rewarded by your Sustainer, and the best source of hope (for the Hereafter).‘ 

Here, the noble Quran reminds us that the visible, glittering measures of this life our wealth, our popularity, or our numbers of followers are all temporary. What truly endures are the sincere actions that are done quietly for the sake of Allah Almighty. A parent can use this verse to remind their child that their true value does not lie in how many people acknowledge them online, but in the unseen way that Allah Almighty values their good deeds. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564b, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah Almighty does not look at your figures, nor at your attire but He looks at your hearts and deeds.’ 

This Hadith can bring an immense sense of relief to a child. The online world may judge them by their appearance, their numbers, or their fashion choices, but Allah Almighty looks deeper. Sharing this beautiful teaching with a child can help to lift a heavy burden from their heart, as they come to understand that they are seen and valued for the things that no one else might ever notice.