Parenting Perspective 

Normalise the Feeling, Guide the Action 

Helping your child to manage their anger without hurting others is an essential skill for their emotional growth. You can begin by teaching your child that feeling angry is a natural emotion but that how they handle that anger is important. Explain that the feeling itself is not bad, but it is what they do with it that matters. You might say, ‘It is okay to feel angry sometimes, but it is important to handle your anger in a way that does not hurt anyone.’ 

Teach Calming Techniques 

Encourage your child to identify the early signs of anger, such as tension in their body or a feeling of frustration and teach them techniques to calm themselves down before they lose control. Deep breathing is one effective strategy. You can practise with them, saying, ‘Let us take deep breaths together when you feel angry. Inhale for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four.’ This technique helps children to manage their emotions and to regain control of their actions before reacting impulsively. 

Another helpful approach is teaching your child to take a break when they are angry. Encourage them to go to a quiet place, such as their room or a designated calm space, to cool down before reacting. You might say, ‘When you feel like you are getting really angry, it is okay to walk away for a moment and come back when you are calm.’ 

Praise your child when they manage their anger appropriately, as this reinforces that self-control is a sign of maturity. Over time, your child will learn to manage their anger in a way that promotes understanding and peaceful solutions rather than hurtful reactions. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, controlling one’s anger and responding to it in a healthy way is highly valued. Allah Almighty reminds us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 37: 

‘And those people that avoid the major sins and immoralities, and when they become angry, they are readily forgiving.’ 

This verse teaches us the importance of managing anger and choosing forgiveness over harmful reactions. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised controlling anger. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who can control themselves in moments of anger.’ 

This Hadith reminds us that true strength lies in the ability to control one’s emotions, particularly anger. By teaching your child to manage their anger in a calm and respectful way, you are helping them to develop their emotional resilience and to align their actions with the teachings of Islam.