How do I handle Eidi when relatives give uneven cash to siblings? 

Parenting Perspective 

Unequal gifts, particularly monetary ones, can unintentionally create tension between siblings. Children often perceive gifts, especially cash, as a direct measure of love and fairness. If one sibling receives more Eidi than another, feelings of jealousy or resentment can easily arise, leading to a sense of inequality that may affect their relationship. As a parent, your role is to guide your children through this experience, helping them understand that Eidi is a gesture of love and should not be viewed as a competition. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings 

It is important to first validate the child who feels shortchanged by acknowledging their emotional response. You could say, ‘I can see you are upset that your sibling received more than you. It is okay to feel that way, but let us talk about it’. This simple acknowledgment allows the child to feel heard and understood before you move toward a solution. 

Shift the Focus from Amount to Intent 

Instead of focusing on the amount received, explain to your children that Eidi is a special gift from relatives to celebrate the joy of Eid and not a source of competition or comparison. You might say, ‘Your relatives gave you Eidi because they love you. The amount does not change how much they care for you’. Helping your children understand that Eidi is not a reflection of who is loved more, but a gesture from the giver, can ease the tension. 

Teach Gratitude and Generosity 

A valuable lesson in these moments is to teach your children the importance of gratitude for what they receive, regardless of the amount. Encourage them to thank their relatives and to view Eidi as a blessing rather than a tool for comparison. Additionally, teaching the value of sharing can help them focus on the joy of giving rather than receiving. You could add, ‘We are so grateful for what we have received, and we can also share with others who may not have as much’. This shifts the mindset from scarcity to abundance and promotes kindness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings place great emphasis on fairness, gratitude, and contentment with what Allah Almighty provides. The challenge of handling uneven gifts is an opportunity to instil these virtues in children, reminding them that the true value of any gift lies in the intention behind it and the gratitude with which it is received. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 261: 

‘The example of those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah is like that of a seed of grain that grows seven ears, each bearing one hundred grains.’ 

This verse reflects the infinite reward that comes from giving for the sake of Allah. It reminds us that true wealth is not measured by the material value of what is given or received, but by the intention and charity behind it. Gifts, whether small or large, should be received with gratitude and appreciated for the love that inspired them. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 228, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The dearest and the closest of you to me on the Day of Resurrection will be those who are the best in behavior.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the best of people are those with the best character, which includes generosity and good conduct. By focusing on how Eidi fosters love, connection, and generosity, rather than just its material value, parents can help their children internalise these principles and view each gift as a blessing, regardless of its size. 

In these moments, your role is to help your children grow in gratitude, framing the act of receiving as an opportunity to reflect on the blessings Allah Almighty has provided, not as a reason for comparison with others.