How do I encourage my child to make amends after hurting someone? 

Parenting Perspective 

Foster Empathy 

Encouraging a child to make amends after they have hurt someone is an important step in teaching them empathy, responsibility, and the value of healthy relationships. When your child hurts someone, whether physically or emotionally, it is essential to help them recognise the impact of their actions and to guide them toward repairing the situation. The first step is to help your child understand the other person’s feelings. For example, you might say, ‘When you said that to your friend, it hurt their feelings. How do you think they feel right now?’ 

Guide Them Towards a Sincere Apology 

Once your child understands the impact of their actions, you can guide them towards making amends. Encourage them to apologise sincerely and to express genuine remorse. For example, you might prompt them to say, ‘I am sorry for hurting your feelings. It was not my intention.’ This teaches your child that an apology is not just a formality, but a way to acknowledge the hurt they have caused and to show empathy. 

Teach That Actions Speak Louder Than Words 

It is also important to teach your child that making amends often requires more than just words. You can ask them how they can make the situation better. For example, if they took something from someone, you can guide them to return it or to offer something in return as a gesture of goodwill. By encouraging your child to take proactive steps to repair the damage, you are teaching them that actions often speak louder than words. Praise your child for their efforts in making things right, helping them to understand that repairing relationships strengthens trust and promotes kindness. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, seeking forgiveness and making amends is highly encouraged. Allah Almighty in the noble Quran, Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 70, reminds us: 

‘Except for the one who sought repentance, and believed (in the truth), and enacted virtuous deeds; so for those people, Allah (Almighty) shall substitute (and extinguish) their evil deeds with good deeds; and Allah (Almighty) is All Forgiving and All Merciful.’ 

This verse highlights the importance of repentance and the transformative power of seeking forgiveness and making amends. By encouraging your child to do so, you are guiding them towards the practice of self-improvement, which is central to the Islamic faith. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of making amends. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1848, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The one who makes amends with those they have wronged is the one who truly honours their faith.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that seeking to repair relationships after causing harm is a sign of spiritual maturity. By teaching your child to make amends, you are not only helping them to develop good manners and empathy but also encouraging them to embody the values of forgiveness and humility, which are deeply rooted in Islam.