How can parents help children avoid envy when classmates flaunt expensive gadgets online? 

Parenting Perspective 

The online world can magnify the feeling of envy like few other spaces. A child who is scrolling through social media and sees their peers flaunting the newest phone, smartwatch, or headphones may begin to feel that their own life is somehow lacking. If this is left unchecked, that silent envy can grow into a resentment of their peers and even a frustration towards their own parents. Over time, it risks teaching them a harmful lesson: that their belonging and their value are tied to their possessions. 

A parent cannot completely remove this digital tide, but they can equip their child with the anchors that will make the feeling of envy less consuming. 

Acknowledge the Feeling Without Shaming 

Rather than simply dismissing a child’s envy with a line like, ‘These material things do not matter’, it is important to first show them that you understand their feelings. 

‘I know that seeing those new gadgets can make you want them too. That is a normal feeling’. 

This validation helps to reduce secrecy; a child who feels that they have been heard is far less likely to brood in silence. 

Teach the Story Behind the Screen 

A parent can encourage their child to question what they are seeing online. Is every post a true reflection of reality, or is it a kind of performance? It is helpful to share that many of the images they see are staged, filtered, or are highlighting just one shiny moment, while the real-life struggles of that person remain hidden. This can help a child to build a healthy sense of scepticism, so that they stop taking online displays as the whole truth. 

Redirect Focus Towards Agency 

A parent can gently shift the conversation towards the things that a child can control: their kindness, their effort, and their creativity. It can be helpful to involve them in small acts of independence, such as saving their pocket money for something that is personally meaningful to them, or personalising the things that they already own. When a child sees that they have the power to shape their own world, the craving for what others are displaying can begin to weaken. Small, consistent family habits, such as a weekly ‘gratitude moment’, can also reinforce the idea that contentment is a skill that can be learned, not just something to be bought. 

Spiritual Insight 

The sting of envy is not a new phenomenon; it is a human struggle that the noble Quran names and addresses clearly. A parent can use these moments of social comparison to guide their child back to a profound spiritual truth: our true value lies not in the objects we own, but in our sense of gratitude and contentment. 

Allah Almighty states in noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 32: 

‘And do not begrudge what benefactions have been given by Allah (Almighty), some of you instead of others…and (if you wish for more) ask Allah (Almighty) from His benefactions (to give you more)…’ 

This verse beautifully shifts our focus. Instead of wishing for another person’s share of worldly things, we are invited to seek what we need directly from Allah Almighty, and to trust in His wisdom in distributing His provisions. A parent can remind their child that their own worth is not reduced by what they lack, nor is it enlarged by what others are showing off. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4903, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Beware of envy, for it devours good deeds just as fire devours firewood.’ 

Explaining this Hadith to a child can be simple: the feeling of envy does not hurt the one who is showing off; it is a fire that eats away at our own sense of peace. Releasing our envy is like protecting the light within our own hearts.