Parenting Perspective 

Teach Social Rules Explicitly 

Guiding an autistic child to understand social rules involves breaking down social norms into clear, manageable steps and providing structured guidance in a supportive and patient environment. It is helpful to start by teaching social rules explicitly, as children with autism may not always pick up on social cues naturally. Use simple, direct language when you are explaining these rules. For example, you could say, ‘When you meet someone, it is polite to say ‘hello’ and to smile.’ This gives your child a concrete understanding of the behaviour that is expected of them. 

Use Visual Supports and Social Stories 

Visual supports and social stories can be very helpful tools. Social stories are short narratives that explain social situations and expected behaviours in a simple, relatable way. You can create or find social stories about greetings, sharing, or appropriate behaviour in different environments. For instance, a story might say, ‘When I enter the classroom, I put my things away quietly and sit at my desk. This helps me to start the day in a calm way and shows respect to my classmates.’ 

Practice Through Role-Play 

Role-playing is another effective technique. You can act out different social scenarios with your child, such as how to introduce themselves, how to ask for help, or how to respond to questions politely. Use a calm and structured environment to practise these interactions, giving your child the chance to understand social rules in a controlled setting. Praise them when they demonstrate appropriate social behaviour, as this reinforces that they are doing well and helps to build their social skills. 

Offer Gentle Guidance 

It is also important to have a supportive approach to your child’s social challenges. When your child struggles with a social rule, provide gentle guidance and encouragement. For example, if they interrupt someone while they are speaking, you can calmly remind them of the importance of waiting for their turn and why it is respectful. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the values of kindness, respect, and understanding are emphasised in every aspect of life, including our social interactions. Allah Almighty teaches us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verse 70: 

‘O those of you, who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and always speak with words of blatant accuracy.’ 

This verse encourages us to treat others with respect and to use our words wisely, which directly relates to understanding and following social rules. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also provided guidance on how to treat others with kindness and respect in social interactions. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith underscores the importance of respect and good manners, not only within the family but also in all of our interactions with others. By guiding your autistic child to understand and to follow social rules, you are helping them to embody the Islamic values of respect, kindness, and responsibility in their relationships.