What script helps when an aunt funds only one child’s hobby? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a relative, such as an aunt, chooses to financially support only one child’s hobby, it can create feelings of exclusion or rivalry among siblings. The goal is to approach the situation with understanding, ensuring that all your children feel equally valued, even if their opportunities are not always the same. By framing the situation as a personal choice made by the relative, and by focusing on the value of mutual support, you can help your children to feel included and can avoid feelings of jealousy. 

Acknowledge the Feelings of the Other Children 

It is important to begin by validating the feelings of the child who may feel left out. You could say, ‘I understand that you might feel upset because your aunt has supported your sibling’s hobby and not your own. It is natural to feel a bit left out, but let us talk about how we can support all of your interests.’ This helps the child to feel that their emotions are understood, which is an important first step in preventing any resentment from taking root. 

Explain the Relative’s Decision as a Personal Choice 

Clarify that the decision to fund the hobby was made by the relative, and that it is not a reflection of how much they love or value each child. You can explain, ‘Your aunt decided to help with your sibling’s hobby, but that does not mean she loves you any less. We can still find ways to support your own hobbies.’ This helps your child to see that the situation is not about favouritism, but about a personal choice made by their aunt at a particular time. 

Encourage a Sense of Individual Opportunity 

Remind your child that everyone in a family has different opportunities at different times. ‘You will also have your own special opportunities, and we will find ways to support your interests. Just because one person gets help with something right now does not mean the others are forgotten.’ This helps a child to understand that good things will also come their way in their own time. 

Focus on the Spirit of Mutual Family Support 

Encourage your children to support one another, regardless of who is receiving help from whom. ‘Let us try to support each other’s interests and to be happy for one another when something good happens. Being a family means being there for each other.’ This helps to foster a beautiful spirit of family solidarity and mutual respect. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the principles of fairness, gratitude, and love for others are central to a healthy family life. Teaching your children to handle any feelings of exclusion with grace and humility can help to align them with these values, fostering an environment of love and respect within the family. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verses 10: 

‘The believers are but brothers, so make settlement between your brothers…’ 

This verse encourages us to maintain a sense of unity, peace, and harmony within our families, regardless of any external circumstances. By teaching your children to support each other and not to feel envy for each other’s opportunities, you can help to cultivate a sense of love and understanding that is in line with these beautiful Islamic teachings. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 13, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself…’ 

This profound hadith emphasises the importance of empathy and of treating others as we ourselves would want to be treated. By teaching your children to be happy for each other and to support one another’s hobbies and interests, you are helping to instil in them the essential values of empathy and mutual respect.