How can I stop envy when classmates flaunt expensive things? 

Parenting Perspective 

Envy often surfaces in children when they notice peers displaying expensive or trendy items. The emotional root of envy is the fear of being left behind or feeling inferior. Children may internalise the belief that possessions determine status or self-worth, thinking, “If I do not have this, I am smaller or less important.” Parents must intervene by validating the emotion, reframing it, and providing practical tools for children to respond constructively. 

Naming and Normalising Envy 

The crucial first step is to acknowledge the feeling without judgment. Say: “It is natural to feel a little jealous sometimes, but that does not mean you are less or unworthy.” By naming envy, children recognise it as a normal emotion rather than a shameful flaw. This approach makes them feel seen and safe, which is essential for emotional regulation. Parents can also share their own age-appropriate experiences of envy, modelling transparency and coping strategies. 

Redirecting to Gratitude 

Once envy is acknowledged, immediately guide children to notice and appreciate their own blessings. Teach them to pair moments of comparison with reflection on what they already have. For instance, encourage them to say, “Alhamdulillah, I already have what I need,” or, “I am grateful for my books and my backpack that carry everything I need.” Parents must model this by verbalising their own gratitude when they admire something or when they see someone else’s possessions. Over time, children internalise the habit of redirecting envy into appreciation for their own life. 

Practical Micro-actions 

Introduce small, actionable routines that reinforce gratitude and reduce envy. One effective habit is a short prayer or dua when feelings of jealousy arise. Teach them to say: “Ya Allah, bless them and grant me contentment.” This practice transforms envy into reflection, prayer, and positive energy, rather than bitterness. Furthermore, encourage journaling or a simple “blessings notebook” where children note three things they are thankful for daily. Parents can also role-play scenarios, discussing phrases such as: “I can enjoy their joy without feeling less,” which strengthens emotional resilience. 

Spiritual Insight 

The noble Quran provides guidance on controlling envy and understanding the true source of blessings, teaching children to focus on what is enduring. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Taha (20), Verse 131: 

“And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to some categories of them, the splendour of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more lasting…” 

This verse reminds children and parents that worldly possessions are a temporary test, and that Allah’s provision is enduring and more meaningful than any material comparison. 

The Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of focusing on one’s own blessings: 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al-Saliheen, Hadith 466, that the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“Do not look at those above you, for it is better that you do not belittle the favours of Allah upon you.” 

By integrating these lessons into daily discussions, parents reinforce that real value comes from character, faith, and actions rather than possessions. Children gradually learn that blessings are unique to each person and that joy and self-worth are not measured by material comparisons.