Parenting Perspective 

Understand Their Feelings 

When one sibling feels they are more ‘free’ than another, it can create tension and rivalry. You should address this situation by first understanding the reason behind your child’s feelings of unfairness. Ask them how they feel and listen actively to their concerns. You could say, ‘I understand that you feel like your sibling gets to do more things. Let us talk about why that is, and how we can make sure things feel fair for everyone.’ 

Link Freedom with Responsibility 

Explain to your children that each child may have different privileges at different stages of their lives, based on factors such as their age, their responsibilities, or their maturity. ‘As you grow older, there will be more opportunities for you to have the same freedom that your sibling has now. Right now, we want to make sure you are ready for those privileges.’ This helps them to understand that freedom and responsibility often go hand in hand. 

Encourage Empathy 

Finally, it is important to encourage empathy between your children. You can teach them to see things from each other’s perspective and to work together to resolve their conflicts. ‘Let us talk about how you can both be more understanding of each other’s feelings and make sure everyone feels that they have been heard.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, fairness and understanding between siblings are highly encouraged. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers….’ 

This verse highlights the importance of brotherhood and of resolving conflicts with fairness and understanding. By teaching your children to resolve their issues about freedom with empathy and mutual respect, you are fostering these Islamic values. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught the importance of fairness and understanding within the family. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith reinforces that by guiding your children through their conflicts about freedom, you are helping them to develop a sense of fairness, respect, and empathy, in line with these Islamic principles.