Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Their Feelings 

Handling fights about who does ‘more’ chores involves creating a fair and transparent system that ensures both children feel equally responsible for maintaining the household. You can start by acknowledging your children’s feelings and the fact that both may feel overburdened. You might say, ‘I understand that it feels like some chores are not being shared equally, and we need to find a way to make sure that everyone feels it is fair.’ 

Establish a Fair System 

It is important to establish clear, age-appropriate expectations for each child and the chores they are responsible for. You should assign tasks based on their abilities, ensuring that the workload is balanced. ‘We will create a chore chart where everyone knows what they need to do. This way, we can see that all tasks are being shared fairly.’ When you are explaining why some chores might seem more difficult than others, you can highlight that every task is important for the well-being of the family. 

Encourage Open Discussion 

Finally, it is a good idea to encourage open discussions when they feel a chore is unfair and to review the tasks together regularly to make sure the workload remains balanced. ‘Let us check in every week to make sure the chores feel fair to both of you.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, fairness and cooperation are key values that apply to all aspects of life, including our household responsibilities. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 195: 

‘And expend (your wealth) in the pathway of Allah (Almighty), and do not let your actions place you in a (state of) destruction (by being miserly)…’ 

This verse encourages us to contribute positively to our family and community and to share our responsibilities, not allowing any one person to feel overburdened. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught the importance of sharing responsibilities. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith underscores the idea that fairness, respect, and teamwork within the family are essential for harmony and unity. By teaching your children to share their chores fairly, you are helping them to embody these Islamic values of cooperation, fairness, and mutual respect.