What should I say when my child gloats after winning and upsets their siblings or friends? 

Parenting Perspective 

Redirect the Focus to Shared Enjoyment 

Gloating after a win can quickly spoil the fun for everyone and strain relationships. The goal is not to diminish your child’s happiness, but to guide them towards celebrating with humility. Acknowledge their win calmly, but immediately redirect the focus to the shared experience: ‘You played very well, and the best part is that we all had a chance to play together.’ This shifts the emphasis from individual superiority to collective enjoyment. 

Teach Respectful Celebrations 

You can teach your child that winning is a moment for gratitude, not for boasting. It helps to offer them clear, positive alternatives to gloating, such as saying ‘good game’ to the other players or suggesting a friendly rematch. It can be useful to role-play these scenarios at home, so your child has a clear idea of what a respectful celebration looks like. 

Praise Humility and Kindness 

When you see your child showing restraint or kindness after a win, make sure to praise it specifically: ‘It was so thoughtful of you to say “good game” to your brother.’ By praising humility and good sportsmanship, you make it more rewarding than gloating. If they do gloat, it is best to address it privately afterwards rather than embarrassing them in front of others. This consistent guidance helps them learn to enjoy victory without hurting others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Does Not Like the Boastful 

Islam teaches that pride and arrogance are harmful to the soul, whereas humility brings a person honour in the sight of Allah. The Quran explicitly warns against boastfulness and treating others with contempt. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 18: 

‘ And do not turn your cheek from people (in pride and contempt), and do not walk on the Earth in self-glory; indeed, Allah (Almighty) does not love those (people who believe in) self-aggrandizement and boasting.’ 

The Danger of Pride 

The prophetic tradition gives a stark warning about the spiritual danger of pride (kibr). Even a tiny amount of it in the heart is considered a major sin, reminding us that humility is essential for a believer’s faith. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 91, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘No one who has an atom’s weight of pride in his heart will enter Paradise.’ 

Victory as an Opportunity for Gratitude 

When you help your child understand that true joy comes from gratitude, not from boasting, you instil a value that strengthens both their character and their spirituality. This transforms every victory from a potential source of conflict into a beautiful opportunity for thankfulness and growth.