What works when my child crawls back out of bed after goodnights? 

Parenting Perspective 

Every parent knows the scene: the lights are off, the du’a has been said, and just as one finally settles, one’s child reappears – needing one more drink, one more hug, or one more question. It can be frustrating, but a child’s repeated return to the parents’ room is rarely mischief. It often reflects an emotional need for reassurance, closeness, or control. The goal is to meet that need with calm firmness, showing the child that bedtime is safe and final, not a nightly negotiation. 

Understanding the Real Message Behind the Return 

Children often return from their beds because they feel unsettled or disconnected. Fear of the dark, loneliness, or a busy day’s leftover energy can all drive this pattern. Recognising this helps a parent approach the situation with empathy instead of irritation. A calm response such as, “You have had your story and hugs, my love. It is time for your body to rest now. I will check on you in ten minutes,” tells your child they are secure, yet boundaries remain intact. This small reassurance builds trust and slowly reduces the habit. 

Creating a Predictable and Comforting Routine 

Consistency is the most powerful sleep cue. A bedtime routine that follows the same sequence – bath, pyjamas, story, du’a, lights out – signals safety to a child’s brain. Gentle environmental cues such as a soft nightlight or a familiar nasheed (spiritual song) can mark the transition to rest. When routines remain steady, the urge to “check” on a parent lessens, because the child learns to trust the pattern. Predictability quiets anxiety and builds emotional rhythm, turning bedtime from a struggle into a ritual of peace. 

Responding Calmly but Firmly 

If a child returns after the lights are out, parents must avoid long conversations or changing rules midway. Simply guide the child back with a few words and warm firmness. A parent might say, “It is still sleep time, sweetheart,” while gently leading the child to bed. Keep your tone steady and neutral – neither scolding nor amusing. The fewer words one uses, the clearer the message becomes. When parents remain consistent for several nights, the behaviour naturally fades because the child learns that leaving the bed brings no new reward or excitement. 

Building Connection Before Lights Out 

Sometimes, children get up again because bedtime is the only time they feel they have their parent’s undivided attention. A simple change in rhythm can prevent this. Parents should try giving ten minutes of “special time” before lights go out, chatting, cuddling, or saying du’a together. This emotional “fill-up” makes bedtime closure easier. A parent might say, “I loved talking tonight. Now it is time for both of us to rest.” When a child feels emotionally full, their need to seek their parents again after lighting out diminishes. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam beautifully integrates emotional care with discipline, encouraging both gentleness and routine. Bedtime is not merely a household task; it is part of tarbiyah – nurturing emotional calm and spiritual comfort. Helping a child settle peacefully teaches them that rest is a mercy from Allah Almighty, not a punishment for being awake. 

Rest as a Divine Blessing 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nabaa (78), Verses 9: 

‘And we constructed over you seven strong (layers of universal existence).’ 

This verse reminds us that sleep is one of Allah Almighty’s gifts – a pause for renewal and tranquillity. When parents guide bedtime with calmness instead of irritation, they teach gratitude for this mercy. By linking sleep with comfort and trust, they show their child that night-time is not separation, but an act of surrender to Allah Almighty’s care. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Sunnah for Bedtime Tranquillity 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2311, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“When you go to your bed, recite Ayat al-Kursi, for there will remain over you a protector from Allah, and no devil will approach you until morning.” 

It is also recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5362, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When you go to bed, say “Allahu Akbar” thirty-four times, “Alhamdulillah” thirty-three times, and “SubhanAllah” thirty-three times.’ 

Teaching your child these bedtime Sunnahs transforms bedtime into an act of worship. Reciting together builds calm and spiritual safety. The child learns that Allah Almighty watches over them and that sleep is protected by His mercy. These rituals replace fear with faith and loneliness with serenity. 

A Closing Reflection 

Bedtime battles often fade when emotional needs, physical routines, and spiritual comfort align. By staying calm, consistent, and spiritually centred, parents help their child develop self-settling – a lifelong form of self-regulation. Guiding them back to bed gently but firmly mirrors the prophetic model: compassionate authority grounded in mercy. Over time, a child will come to see bedtime not as a separation from their parents, but as a return to Allah Almighty’s care – a moment of peace, protection, and gratitude.