What stories can show that every person has different comfort levels with touch? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often assume that everyone experiences touch in the same way they do. A child who enjoys hugs may not initially understand that a friend or relative may feel anxious with the same gesture. Sharing stories that illustrate these differences helps children to grasp that boundaries are personal and vary widely. 

Use Fictional Scenarios 

One effective approach is to use real-life or fictional scenarios. You might tell a story about two friends: one loves high-fives, while the other prefers waves. After the story, ask your child, ‘How do you think each friend feels?’ This prompts empathy and encourages children to consider multiple perspectives. 

Draw Analogies from Nature 

Another helpful story could involve animals. For instance, a shy kitten who flinches when petted too quickly compared to a playful puppy that loves cuddles. Children can relate to the difference and see that both comfort levels are valid. The discussion can then shift to humans: ‘Just like the kitten, some people like quiet space before being hugged, and that is okay.’ 

Reflect on Past Experiences 

You can also reflect on past experiences your child has had. Ask, ‘Remember when your friend did not want a hug at school? Why do you think they felt that way?’ These reflections link stories to their lived experiences, making the lessons tangible. Parents can validate feelings while guiding children to respond appropriately: ‘It is fine to want a hug, but it is also kind to accept that someone else may not.’ 

Practise with Role-Playing 

Role-playing these stories is another powerful tool. Act out scenarios where the child is offered a hug and chooses to accept or decline, and then reverse roles. Encourage descriptive language: ‘I would like a hug right now,’ or ‘I need some space, thank you.’ These practice sessions provide the child with scripts for real-life interactions. Positive reinforcement strengthens empathy, helping children to see that respecting personal boundaries builds caring relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that every individual is honoured and deserves respect. Recognising that people experience touch and affection differently aligns with the broader principle of compassion and consideration for the feelings of others. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Isra (17), Verse 70: 

‘And We have certainly honoured the children of Adam and carried them on the land and sea and provided for them of the good things and preferred them over much of what We have created, with definite preference…’ 

This verse reminds us that Allah Almighty has honoured every human being, granting them dignity and unique preferences. Teaching children that comfort with touch varies from person to person reinforces the understanding that each individual’s feelings are valid and worthy of respect. It shifts their perspective from expectation to mindfulness. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6038, that Anas ibn Malik said: 

‘I served the Messenger of Allah ﷺ for ten years, and he never said to me ‘Uff’ or, ‘Why did you do that?’ or, ‘Why did you not do that?’ 

This Hadith illustrates the attentiveness of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to the feelings of others and his avoidance of pressure. He created an environment where personal comfort was respected, demonstrating that patience forms the foundation of kind relationships. Parents who reflect this behaviour teach children that acknowledging differences in comfort is an expression of compassion. You can explain to your child: ‘When we notice that someone enjoys hugs less than we do, we are practising care and respect, just as Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught us.’