What should parents do if they discover their child is secretly teaching friends how to bypass parental controls? 

Parenting Perspective 

Discovering that your child is using their technical skills to teach their friends how to bypass parental controls can be very concerning. While it certainly demonstrates a high level of technical ability, it also reflects a serious misuse of trust and a lack of respect for boundaries. It is crucial for parents to address both the breach of responsibility and the potential harm this behaviour could cause to others. 

Address the Behaviour Calmly but Firmly 

Reacting with anger is likely to push your child into further secrecy. Instead, a calm but firm approach is better: ‘I can see that you are very skilled, but using that skill to break rules, especially helping others to break their family’s rules, is not acceptable.’ This separates their talent from their misuse of it. 

Explain the Consequences Clearly 

Help them to understand the ripple effect of their actions. You could say: ‘When you show other children how to break their family’s rules, you are not only putting yourself at risk, but you are also encouraging them to disobey their own parents. That is a much bigger responsibility than you may realise.’ 

Reframe Their Skill as a Trust 

Encourage your child to view their advanced knowledge as an amanah (a sacred trust). You can tell them: ‘Being this skilled is a gift, but that gift only earns you respect when it is used to protect and help people, not to cause harm.’ This helps to shift their mindset from pride to responsibility. 

Provide Positive Outlets 

It is important to channel their curiosity and talent into constructive avenues. You could look for coding classes, digital design courses, robotics clubs, or other safe online projects where their skills can be developed in a positive way. This shows that their ability is valued, but that it must be applied correctly. 

By combining discipline with positive opportunities, parents can teach their children that technical knowledge is only honourable when it is guided by integrity and a deep respect for rules. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that all knowledge should be used with sincerity and a deep sense of responsibility. Using one’s knowledge or skills to mislead others or cause harm is considered a betrayal of the trust that Allah has given. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verses 27: 

‘ O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).‘ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that every form of knowledge we possess is a trust (amanah), and that it must never be misused to break the trust placed in us by others. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2416, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The feet of the son of Adam will not move on the Day of Judgement until he is asked about five things: his life and how he lived it, his youth and how he spent it, his wealth, how he earned it and how he spent it, and what he did with his knowledge.’ 

This teaching makes it clear that we will be held directly accountable for our knowledge before Allah. We must be able to answer for whether it was used to build and benefit, or to mislead and cause harm. 

By grounding their response in these core principles, parents can guide their child to see that secretly helping others to bypass rules is not a sign of cleverness, but a serious misuse of their God-given ability. Over time, they can learn that true honour comes from using their skills in ways that serve, protect, and please Allah Almighty.