What should my child say instead of “whatever” to end a discussion? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child says ‘whatever’ at the end of a discussion, the word rarely sounds neutral. Instead, it often communicates a sense of dismissal, irritation, or even contempt. It can leave the parent or sibling feeling shut down and invalidated, even if the child thinks they are simply ending the conversation. Over time, this single word can become a habit that undermines respect, fuels resentment, and prevents any chance of a healthy resolution. What your child needs is alternative language: words that will allow them to end a conversation respectfully, even when they are feeling frustrated. 

Explain Why ‘Whatever’ Feels Hurtful 

Children often do not realise how much weight a small and casual word can carry. You can say, “When you say ‘whatever,’ it sounds like you do not care about my words or my feelings. That can feel hurtful, and it makes me less willing to listen to you the next time.” This helps your child to see that the word ‘whatever’ does not just end a discussion; it also damages the relationship. 

Teach Respectful Closing Phrases 

Offer your child ready-made alternatives that allow them to end a conversation while still preserving the dignity of everyone involved. Examples include: 

• ‘I hear what you are saying, but I still feel differently about it.’ 

• ‘Okay, let us stop here and maybe we can talk about it again later.’ 

• ‘I do not agree with that, but I will think about what you have said.’ 

• ‘Can we please just leave it for now?’ 

These phrases clearly signal that the discussion is finished, without sounding like a rude brush-off. 

Practise in Calm Moments 

You can role-play a disagreement with your child, and then ask them to try using one of the respectful closing phrases. You can then reinforce their effort with praise, such as, “That sounded very respectful. You ended the conversation without hurting anyone’s feelings.” Practising outside of a real conflict makes the skill easier for them to use when emotions are running high. 

Intervene During Real Discussions 

When your child says, ‘Whatever,’ you can pause the conversation and correct them gently by saying, “That sounded quite dismissive. Please can you try one of the respectful endings instead.” If they need help, you can give them the words: “You can say, ‘I hear you, but I disagree.’” 

Reinforce Attempts to End Discussions Well 

When your child successfully ends a discussion with a respectful phrase, make sure to acknowledge it. For example, “I really appreciated how you said, ‘Can we leave it for now?’ instead of just saying ‘whatever.’ That made me feel heard, even though we did not agree.” 

A Mini-Dialogue Example 

Child: ‘Whatever.’ 

Parent: ‘That sounded very dismissive. Please try that again with respect.’ 

Child: ‘Okay… I do not agree, but can we please stop talking about this for now?’ 

Parent: ‘That is much better. That shows respect, even though you feel differently.’ 

This simple shift shows your children that it is possible to disagree or to stop talking without damaging the bond between you. In short, replacing ‘whatever’ with respectful closing phrases helps children to balance honesty with courtesy. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that our speech should always be measured and respectful, even when we are disagreeing with someone or stepping away from a conversation. 

Choosing the Best Words Prevents Discord 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 53: 

‘And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them, as indeed, Satan is the most visible enemy for mankind.’ 

This verse reminds us that the way we end our conversations can either invite peace or fuel discord. Saying ‘whatever’ can feed into division and anger, while using respectful words helps to preserve harmony, which is a part of living by the command of Allah. 

The Prophet’s Guidance on Speaking Kindly 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6018, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or else keep silent.’ 

This Hadith teaches that if our words cannot be kind or constructive, then a respectful silence is better. Parents can explain to their children, “Instead of saying ‘whatever,’ you should either choose respectful words or choose to remain silent. Both of these choices will protect your dignity and the other person’s feelings.” 

By giving your children both the right scripts and these spiritual anchors, you can teach them that ending a discussion respectfully is not a sign of weakness but is in fact a sign of strength. It shows maturity, self-control, and an alignment with core Islamic values.