Parenting Perspective 

Few situations test a child’s judgement like realising mid-journey that their driver is drunk, impaired, reckless, or otherwise unsafe. Your aim is to replace panic with a rehearsed plan. Safety must come before manners, friendship, or the fear of ‘making a scene’. Teach your child this fundamental rule: it is never rude to protect your life. 

Create the Safety Mindset in Advance 

Explain that even trusted people can make poor choices. A child who is able to say, ‘I left when the situation turned unsafe,’ is showing strength, not betrayal. Promise them plainly that you will always prioritise their safety over punctuality, rules, or any potential embarrassment. Children act faster when they know their call for help will be met with calm support, not anger. 

Establish a Family Exit Code 

Agree on a single, discreet phrase or emoji that can be sent via text. This could be a simple question like, ‘How is the cat?’ or an emoji such as 🟡, which means ‘call me now and get me out’. When you receive this code, you must ring immediately and provide a neutral excuse: ‘Something has come up at home. I need you back now.’ Your call becomes the reason for the driver to stop the car, allowing your child to exit. 

Rehearse the Stop, Excuse, and Exit Plan 

Practise the immediate safety plan so it becomes second nature: 

• Stop: The moment they notice alcohol, erratic driving, or feel a gut-level sense of danger, they must silence any feelings of guilt and begin planning their exit. 

• Excuse: They should politely give a reason to stop, such as, ‘I am feeling unwell, I think I will get picked up from here,’ or ‘I just remembered I forgot something urgent. Please could you drop me at the next shop?’ 

• Exit: They must ask to be dropped off at a well-lit, public place like a petrol station, shop, or mosque. From there, they should call you or another trusted adult. If the driver refuses to stop, your child should text the safety code, share their live location with you, and remain calm and non-confrontational until help arrives. 

Role-Play the Difficult Moments 

Practise scenarios that may cause fear, such as a driver who resists stopping, a friend who teases them for leaving, or the worry about your reaction. Keep repeating the anchor statement: ‘If it is unsafe, you get out. We will handle everything else later.’ Rehearse simple, one-sentence scripts and techniques for slow breathing. Panic clouds judgement; practice builds clarity. 

Make the Logistics Easy 

Ensure your child is always prepared. This includes having emergency cash, a fully charged phone, and access to a ride-hailing app if appropriate. Save the contact details of at least two backup adults outside the household (such as a neighbour, aunt, or family friend) who can collect your child at any time. 

After They Are Safe 

When your child is home, lead with gratitude, not lectures. Thank them for calling you and for making a wise decision. Later, when they are calm, debrief the situation gently: ‘What did you notice first? What helped you decide to act?’ Praise their choice, not the drama. Confidence grows when home is a place of repair, not reproach. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam commands believers to guard life and to step away from harm. Leaving a dangerous situation is not an act of disrespect; it is obedience to the guidance of Allah Almighty to protect the sacred trust of one’s body and life. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 195: 

‘And expend (your wealth) in the pathway of Allah (Almighty), and do not let your actions place you in a (state of) destruction (by being miserly); and be benevolent, indeed, Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ 

This verse turns the act of seeking safety into an act of worship. Exiting a risky car journey directly fulfils this command by refusing to participate in self-harm. Teach your child to remember this verse when they notice red flags: preserving life is an act of obedience. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 49, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Whoever among you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; if he is not able, then with his tongue; and if he is not able, then with his heart, and that is the weakest of faith.’ 

This Hadith provides a clear framework for action. If they can change the situation with their ‘hand’, they exit the vehicle and call a safe adult. If not, they use their ‘tongue’ by giving a firm, polite excuse to stop the car. If that fails, they reject the evil in their ‘heart’ while signalling for rescue and remaining calm until help arrives. Each step is faith in action. 

Remind your child that bravery in Islam is measured by wisdom, not recklessness. A quick and calm exit from danger is courage guided by faith.