What should I say if my child asks why they feel ‘strange’ in certain moments? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child says they feel “strange” sudden warmth, curiosity about their body, or an unfamiliar flutter in response to something they see or feel it can leave parents unsure of how to respond. These sensations are often the earliest signs of puberty and emotional awakening. The challenge is to explain them without making the child feel ashamed or alarmed. What children need most at this stage is language for what they are experiencing and guidance for what to do with it, wrapped in calm reassurance and spiritual grounding. 

Begin With Reassurance and Normalisation 

Start by saying something simple and soothing: “It is completely normal to feel new things as your body grows. Everyone goes through this.” This immediately removes fear or embarrassment. Explain that Allah Almighty created our bodies to develop in stages and that these changes show their body is healthy and working just as He planned. 

Explain What ‘Strange’ Means in Safe, Honest Terms 

Ask gently: “Can you tell me what kind of strange you mean like butterflies, warmth, or thinking about someone?” Listen without judgment. Then explain: “Sometimes, as we grow older, we start noticing people differently, or our body reacts in new ways. These feelings are part of becoming an adult, but they need to be handled with care.” Giving them neutral, descriptive language helps them process sensations instead of fearing or hiding them. 

Teach That Feelings Are Natural, But Choices Matter 

Say: “These feelings are not bad Allah put them in us for a reason. But He also taught us to control them until the right time, like marriage.” This separates having feelings from acting on them, teaching emotional responsibility. Emphasise that self-control is a sign of maturity and faith, not denial. Explain that feeling something does not make them sinful; it is what they choose to do with it that counts. 

Offer Practical, Calm Guidance 

If your child mentions thoughts or urges that confuse them, stay composed. Suggest simple, faith-based coping actions: 

• Perform wudu and pray two rakʿahs, asking Allah for calmness. 

• Step away from what triggered the feeling. 

• Engage in something healthy reading, exercise, creative play. 

• Keep talking to you when they feel confused. 

Reassure them that spiritual growth includes learning to manage strong emotions and desires, and that Allah Almighty rewards every effort to stay pure. 

Keep the door open for future conversations: “I am proud of you for asking. You can always come to me about this it is part of learning and growing.” When parents stay approachable, children learn that they do not need secrecy or shame to navigate change they have guidance, faith, and love to help them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam recognises that human feelings, including desire, are natural parts of creation. The faith does not demand denial but discipline a heart trained to seek purity and balance. By teaching that these “strange” moments are signs of maturity and moral opportunity, parents turn confusion into reflection and impulse into awareness of Allah Almighty. 

Purity and Discipline in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mu’minun (23), Verses 5–7: 

‘And those who guard their private parts, except from their spouses or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they are not to be blamed but whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors…’ 

This verse teaches that controlling physical desires is not repression but righteousness. Parents can explain that Allah acknowledges these feelings but gives believers a framework to protect their honour and peace until the right time. 

Self-Control and Reward in the Hadith 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 47, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who controls his anger at the time when he has the power to act upon it, Allah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection.’ 

Though the Hadith mentions anger, the same principle applies to all strong emotions, including physical impulses restraint brings spiritual satisfaction. Parents can use it to teach that true strength lies in mastering desire for Allah’s sake, turning discomfort into dignity. 

When parents handle these moments with compassion and faith, children learn that their bodies are not enemies to fight, but trusts to guide. They understand that feeling “strange” is not a sin it is a sign of growing into responsibility under Allah’s watchful mercy. Your calm explanations teach that purity in Islam is not about fear, but about respect: honouring what Allah created, steering it wisely, and trusting that every disciplined choice brings light to the heart.