Parenting Perspective 

Teach Privacy as Trust, Not Punishment 

When a child opens handbags or wallets, it usually stems from curiosity, not theft. It is essential to avoid shaming or making accusations. Instead, provide calm clarity: “Bags and wallets are private spaces. You must ask before touching them.” Explain that privacy is fundamentally about respect, not secrecy. Ensure your tone is firm yet kind, so the boundary feels steady, not angry. 

Create a Clear Permission Routine 

Introduce a concise rule that your child can easily remember: Ask $\to$ Wait $\to$ Accept. 

1. They Ask for permission first. 

2. They Wait for an answer. 

3. They Accept the answer gracefully, whether it is yes or no. 

Practise this using simple household examples: drawers, toolboxes, or even their own pencil cases. When you repeat this routine consistently, it becomes second nature rather than a reaction to scolding. 

Replace Temptation with Safe Alternatives 

Offer a “Curiosity Box” filled with engaging, safe items such as expired cards, an old wallet, jingly keys, and safe coins. Sit together and explore the contents, narrating: “This is how adults keep things organised and safe.” Their curiosity is then satisfied under supervision rather than in secrecy. 

Model Respect for Belongings 

Show them through example. Always ask before you open their pencil case, art box, or personal drawer. Say, “May I look inside?” This models mutual respect. When they see you honouring their belongings, they begin to understand that privacy is a two-way act of trust. 

Make Boundaries Visible 

Assign a clear, elevated spot for handbags and wallets, ideally with a small, printed sign: “Private – Please Ask.” These visual cues remind children of the rule even when their emotions or curiosity run high. If they forget, avoid a lengthy lecture; simply point and remind them: “What does the sign say?” 

Use Calm, Natural Consequences 

If your child repeats the action, apply a short, related limit. This might involve them losing unsupervised access to shared spaces for a day or having to demonstrate two successful ‘Ask First’ attempts before fully regaining trust. The ultimate goal is repair, not punishment. 

Practise Apology and Repair 

Guide them through the process of restoring dignity. Have them rehearse a sincere apology: “I opened your bag without asking. I am sorry. Next time I will ask first.” Then encourage a repair action—such as neatly returning the items, zipping the bag, or placing it respectfully back on the designated shelf. This embeds accountability with grace. 

Spiritual Insight 

Qur’anic Guidance: Honouring Privacy 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 12: 

‘Those of you who have believed, abstain as much as you can from cynical thinking (about one another); as some of that cynical thinking is a sin; and do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against others…’ 

This verse teaches that believers must not invade another’s private space, even within the walls of the family home. Looking through someone’s handbag or wallet without explicit consent can quietly harm trust. Explain to your child that honouring others’ belongings is a way of honouring Allah Almighty’s command to preserve dignity. 

Hadith: Trust is Part of Faith 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 33, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When a man tells something and then looks around, it is a trust.’ 

This Hadith reminds us that even unspoken gestures and small possessions can be considered an amanah (trust). If words are considered a trust, then the items people keep safe in their personal spaces are even more so. Teach your child that true strength lies not in taking what they can reach, but in protecting what belongs to others. 

Making Trust Part of Daily Worship 

Before visitors arrive or when leaving the house, you may recite together: “O Allah, help us guard every trust and respect what is private.” When your child asks before touching your bag, acknowledge the action warmly: “That respect makes Allah Almighty happy.” Over time, privacy stops feeling like a restriction and instead becomes a cultivated sign of integrity and Ihsan (excellence). 

A child raised this way learns that self-control is dignity, trust is sacred, and respect for boundaries is not fear—it is faith put into daily practice.