Parenting Perspective 

Listen to Their Reasons First 

It is natural for a child to sometimes refuse to play with a particular peer. A parent’s role is not to force the friendship, but to help their child navigate these feelings with kindness. The first step is to listen calmly and ask for their reasons. Sometimes, there is a simple explanation, such as the other child being too rough. Other times, the issue may stem from a misunderstanding that requires gentle guidance. 

Teach Respectful Boundaries 

If your child has a valid reason for their reluctance, explain that while we do not have to be close friends with everyone, we must always be kind. You can teach them polite ways to set boundaries, such as saying, ‘I would prefer to play by myself right now,’ instead of a harsh rejection. This empowers them to protect their own feelings while still showing respect to others. 

Encourage Empathy and Inclusion 

If the issue seems to be a simple dislike, you can encourage empathy by asking, ‘How would it feel if someone did not want to play with you?’ Suggest including the other child in a larger group activity, where the interaction is less intense. It is important to praise any small efforts your child makes to be inclusive, as this reinforces the idea that kindness is a valued family trait. 

Spiritual Insight 

Say That Which is Best 

Islam teaches us to be mindful of our words, even when we are setting boundaries or find ourselves in disagreement. The Quran reminds us that Shaytan uses harsh words to create conflict, so believers should always strive to speak in the best and kindest manner. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: 

‘ And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them, as indeed, Satan is the most visible enemy for mankind.’ 

Be Beneficial to Others 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the people most beloved to Allah are those who bring the most benefit to others. Even a small act of kindness or inclusion towards another child is a beautiful way to live this principle and earn a great reward. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nasai, 5379, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of people to Allah are those who are most beneficial to others.’ 

Upholding Compassion and Good Character 

By guiding your child to speak respectfully and to give others a fair chance, you instil the virtues of empathy and wisdom. They learn that while we may not be close friends with everyone we meet, we are still required to uphold the Islamic values of compassion and good character in all our interactions.