What should I do when my child hoards classroom jobs and upsets peers? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child takes on multiple classroom responsibilities, it can signal excitement, a desire for control, or a fear of missing out. Although the behaviour may seem helpful, it can frustrate peers and disrupt cooperation. It is best to begin by naming the underlying feeling: ‘It seems you enjoy being in charge and want to help with everything, but your friends also need chances to contribute.’ Acknowledging your child’s intent validates their enthusiasm while gently highlighting its impact on others. 

Set Clear Guidelines for Sharing 

Explain that each child gets a fair turn and outline the system in simple terms: ‘Today you can be in charge of this job, and your friends will take the next ones.’ Using visual charts or lists showing whose turn it is helps your child anticipate their next opportunity. This reduces anxiety and prevents the impulsive hoarding of tasks. 

Encourage Reflection and Empathy 

After each classroom activity, ask reflective questions such as, ‘How did it feel when your friends were also able to help?’ or ‘What was it like when everyone got a turn?’ These discussions help your child internalise the link between shared responsibility and group harmony. It is also important to reinforce positive moments when they wait their turn or hand over a job gracefully, connecting their considerate behaviour with the positive social outcome. 

Spiritual Insight 

Fairness as a Reflection of Faith 

Islam upholds fairness (adl) as one of its central moral principles. When children learn to share responsibilities rather than monopolise them, they are putting this principle into daily action. The desire to do everything often comes from enthusiasm, not arrogance — but part of maturity is learning to make space for others to grow. Parents can use this moment to explain that true leadership in Islam means helping others rise alongside you, not standing above them. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 
‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other…’ 

This verse beautifully reminds us that diversity, cooperation, and mutual respect are divine purposes of creation. When a child learns to let others take their turn, they are living this principle — recognising that every classmate’s contribution has worth. 

Cultivating Empathy and Humility 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2589, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 
‘None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.’ 

This hadith highlights that the depth of faith is measured by empathy and generosity of spirit. Teaching a child to share jobs with classmates mirrors this prophetic lesson: that the joy of inclusion and fairness is greater than the satisfaction of doing everything alone. 

Building a Spirit of Cooperative Leadership 

When parents help children hand over roles gracefully, they nurture leaders who guide through fairness rather than dominance. This balance of initiative and humility turns ordinary classroom duties into spiritual training. Children begin to understand that cooperation, not control, brings them closer to Allah Almighty’s pleasure — and that every shared task is a small act of worship rooted in justice, kindness, and empathy.