What should I do when my child confesses they feel scared of Allah Almighty more than they feel loved by Him? 

Parenting Perspective 

Hearing your child admit that they feel more fear than love towards Allah Almighty can be a painful and deeply revealing moment for a parent. It is a sign that they are thinking deeply, but also that their understanding may have tilted towards harshness rather than a healthy balance. Your role is to help them see that Allah Almighty is not only to be revered for His Majesty, but also to be loved, trusted, and turned to for comfort. A child’s first image of Allah Almighty often mirrors how He is spoken about in the home. If our words have leaned too heavily on warnings of punishment, then fear will naturally overshadow love. 

Acknowledge Their Honesty with Gratitude 

Begin by affirming their courage for sharing such a vulnerable feeling. You could say: ‘I am so glad you shared that with me. It is a brave and honest thing to talk about your feelings about Allah Almighty.’ This immediately removes any shame they might be feeling and keeps the door open for a sincere dialogue. If they feel judged, they are likely to retreat into a worried silence. 

Gently Reframe Their View of Allah Almighty 

Instead of saying, ‘You should not be scared,’ help them to see that a sense of awe or fear is one dimension of faith, but not the whole picture. You can explain: ‘It is right that we respect Allah Almighty because He is our Creator and is so powerful, but He also tells us again and again that He loves us more than anyone could. His love and His mercy are bigger than His anger.’ 

Share Stories of Divine Mercy 

Children are moved by stories far more than by abstract statements. Narrate the beautiful examples from the Sunnah that illustrate Allah Almighty’s compassion: the story of the man who was forgiven for giving water to a thirsty dog, or the way Allah Almighty rejoices at our repentance even after we have made great mistakes. These real examples can help to shift their image of Allah Almighty from that of a distant Judge to a Compassionate Guardian. 

Model a Loving Connection in Your Own Language 

Let your child hear you speak about Allah Almighty in a loving way during your everyday life. Simple expressions like, ‘Alhamdulillah, Allah Almighty was so kind to us today,’ or ‘I feel so loved by Allah Almighty when I see you smile,’ can teach a child that a relationship with God is woven into the simple, happy moments of life. 

Teach the Balance of Awe and Hope 

Awe of Allah Almighty (taqwa) has a protective role; it helps to stop us from doing wrong. The love of Allah Almighty, on the other hand, is what draws us towards doing good. Both are important parts of a healthy faith, but love and hope should always lead. This is the balanced understanding you can nurture. 

Create a Ritual of Noticing Blessings 

Each night, you can ask your child to name or write down one way they felt the love or care of Allah Almighty in their day. It could be the safety they felt on the way home from school, a kind word from a friend, or your presence with them. Over time, this practice gently shifts their focus from fear to a loving connection. 

Spiritual Insight 

The perfect balance of fear (khawf), hope (raja), and love (mahabbah) is central to the Islamic spiritual tradition. Fear without love can lead to despair, while love without a sense of awe can lead to carelessness. Your child’s confession is a precious opportunity to teach them this beautiful balance through the wisdom of the noble Quran and the example of holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. 

Allah Almighty states in noble Quran at Surah Al Hijr (15), Verse 49: 

‘Inform My (true) servants, that indeed, I (Allah Almighty) am Most Forgiving and Most Merciful.’ 

This verse is a direct command from Allah Almighty to His holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to prioritise the message of mercy. It is a gentle correction for anyone whose understanding has become imbalanced. Sharing this with your child can help them to see that love is not something we invent; it is how Allah Almighty has chosen to introduce Himself to us. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2754, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah Almighty is more merciful to His servants than a mother is to her child’ 

This hadith offers the most powerful and accessible image for a child: the unconditional, tender love of a mother. If they can imagine your love and tenderness for them, and then multiply that beyond all measure, that is a glimpse of the love of Allah Almighty. When you weave these teachings into your conversations, your child will gradually learn that reverence for Allah Almighty is not meant to crush their spirit, but to hold them in safety and guide them with wisdom.