Parenting Perspective 

The Need for a New Anchor 

Major changes—such as moving house, starting a new school, the arrival of a sibling, or even significantly shifting daily routines—frequently trigger a wave of exaggerated behaviour. Children who were previously calm may start clowning, interrupting, or provoking others simply to feel acknowledged. Their nervous system is essentially signalling, “I have lost my anchor; please notice me before I disappear.” The effective remedy is not punishment, but rather reconnection achieved through predictability, empathy, and structure. 

Name What Is Happening 

Children seldom verbalise, ‘I am anxious about this change.’ Instead, they communicate this distress through their actions. Begin by labelling the invisible, underlying feeling: ‘There have been many changes lately, and your body might feel wobbly inside. I am here to help you feel steady again.’ Labelling these feelings diminishes their negative power and shows your child that you can see beneath the surface behaviour. 

Front-Load Connection Before the Transition 

Before any significant change takes hold—a new school term, a new childcare helper, or a move to a new house—invest in micro-rituals that strongly reaffirm their security: shared duas (supplications) before leaving home, small inside jokes, or dedicated five-minute playtimes. A full emotional “tank” dramatically reduces the need for showy bids for attention later on. Connection provided in advance prevents chaos arising in reaction. 

Predict and Rehearse the New Routine 

Use visual maps or simple drawings to clearly explain what elements will change and, critically, what elements will remain exactly the same. For example, say: ‘New classroom, same snack, same bedtime dua.’ Stability threads reduce uncertainty. If possible, walk through the new environment, or role-play the upcoming first day. Predictability calms the anxious brain, leaving far less room for attention-grabbing theatrics.¹ 

Respond to the Bid, Not the Drama 

When the antics increase, make sure you acknowledge the core message without rewarding the performance or spectacle. For example: 

• Child (shouting): ‘Look at me!’ 

• Parent (calmly): ‘I see you are needing me. Let us talk about it in a quiet voice.’ 

This technique successfully separates the need (connection) from the method (drama). The underlying need gets met, and the disruptive method fades over time. 

Schedule Reliable 1-to-1 Time 

During periods of transition, anchor one daily moment that never shifts—this could be five minutes after Maghrib prayer, a dedicated bedtime story, or a morning walk. Name this “our steady time.” When children trust that connection is guaranteed, they stop creating crises just to obtain it. 

Balance Comfort With Consistency 

Be gentle and understanding, but remain absolutely firm: household rules still stand, voices must remain kind, and prayers should remain on time. Over-indulgence during uncertainty breeds insecurity, not calm. Consistent expectations remind your child that even when the external life environment changes, your boundaries and love do not. That unwavering steadiness becomes their emotional safety belt. 

Debrief the Transition Together 

At the end of the day, ask openly, ‘What felt new today? What felt familiar?’ and make sure to finish with gratitude: ‘Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah), we successfully managed the first day.’ Reframing change as an opportunity for growth teaches resilience instead of fear.² 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that sabr (patience) and tawakkul (trust in Allah Almighty) are not passive states; they are active forms of emotional and spiritual stability.³ When life shifts dramatically, both adults and children require anchors that remind them that Allah Almighty remains constant, even when the world around them is changing. Teaching this fundamental concept transforms restlessness into remembrance. 

Qur’anic Guidance 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ra’ad (13), Verse 28: 

‘Those people who are believers, and attain serenity of their hearts with the remembrance of Allah (Almighty); indeed, it is only with the remembrance of Allah (Almighty) that one can (and does) find peace of mind and heart.’ 

This verse provides the perfect antidote to transitional chaos. When established routines change, hearts naturally crave familiarity. Dhikr (remembrance of Allah), nightly duas, and consistent family Salah (prayer) become the immovable constants that soothe the nervous system. Encourage your child to quietly whisper a short dhikr—such as SubhanAllah or Alhamdulillah—when they feel unsettled; this effectively links calm to faith rather than to attention-seeking behaviour. 

Hadith Guidance 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1302, that the holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: 

‘Indeed, the real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.’ 

This Hadith powerfully reframes big transitions as crucial opportunities to practise early patience—responding with steadiness rather than immediate panic. When your child witnesses you taking a deep breath, calmly naming the change, and staying gentle, they learn precisely what sabr at the first stroke looks like in practice. 

Each time you respond to attention-grabbing behaviour with a calm, regulated presence, you are modelling both high emotional regulation and spiritual maturity. Over the course of many transitions, your child discovers that change need not steal their sense of security—because love, routine, and Allah Almighty’s care remain entirely unchanged. That unwavering certainty turns external turbulence into internal trust, making every new chapter a profound lesson in faith-anchored resilience.