What should I do if my child insults or mocks a neighbour? 

Parenting Perspective 

Address the Behaviour Calmly 

If your child insults or mocks a neighbour, it is important to address the behaviour immediately and guide them towards understanding the impact of their words. You can start by calmly discussing the incident with your child. Ask them why they said what they did and help them to reflect on how it might have made the neighbour feel. You could say, ‘When you said that to our neighbour, how do you think it made them feel?’ This helps your child to develop empathy and to understand the emotional consequences of their actions. 

Explain Why It Is Unacceptable 

Once your child understands the impact of their words, you can explain that mocking or insulting others is never acceptable, regardless of the situation. Reinforce that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, and that words can have a lasting effect on people’s feelings. For example, you might say, ‘We should always speak to others in a way that is kind and respectful, even if we are upset or frustrated.’ 

Encourage a Sincere Apology 

Encourage your child to apologise sincerely to the neighbour. Help them to understand that a genuine apology shows maturity and responsibility. You can guide your child by saying, ‘It is important to apologise when we hurt someone’s feelings. We can say, “I am sorry for what I said. It was not kind, and I regret it.”’ This helps your child to learn that taking responsibility for their actions and making amends is a sign of good character. 

Finally, it is important to praise your child when they show kindness and respect towards others. Positive reinforcement helps them to internalise the importance of treating people with dignity and encourages them to act with consideration in the future. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, kindness and respect for others are highly valued, and insulting or mocking others is discouraged.¹ Allah Almighty reminds us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them….’ 

This verse teaches us that mocking or insulting others is wrong, as it can cause harm and disrupt peace. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of treating others with respect and kindness. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith reinforces the idea that our conduct, especially towards those we interact with daily, should be rooted in kindness and respect. By teaching your child to treat their neighbours with consideration and to apologise for hurtful words, you are helping them to embody the Islamic principles of empathy, respect, and responsibility.