What should I do if I catch myself saying ‘wait till your father gets home’? 

Parenting Perspective 

The phrase ‘wait till your father gets home’ often comes out during moments of frustration when a parent feels they have run out of options. While it might seem like a quick fix, this approach can be counterproductive. It shifts responsibility away from you, can create an unhealthy fear of the other parent, and risks undermining your own authority in your child’s eyes. 

Respond Calmly in the Moment 

Instead of postponing discipline, it is far more effective to address the behaviour calmly as it happens. Use simple, immediate consequences that are directly linked to the action. For example, if your child refuses to tidy up their toys, you might say, ‘The toys will be put away until you are ready to put them back in the box yourself.’ This demonstrates that you can handle the situation independently and that rules are effective immediately, not postponed until later. 

Avoid Making One Parent the ‘Enforcer’ 

Children thrive in an environment where both parents are seen as consistent and united guides. If discipline is consistently deferred to one parent, children may begin to fear or resent that individual while simultaneously learning to ignore the authority of the other. The aim should be for both parents to be equal partners in setting and enforcing boundaries, even if only one is present to deliver the consequence at the time. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, both parents are entrusted with the shared responsibility of nurturing and guiding their children. Transferring this duty entirely to one parent is an imbalanced approach that can weaken the bonds of trust and respect within the family. 

The Shared Duty of Parental Care 

The Quran highlights the status of both parents and the duty of a child to be grateful to them, which implies that both mother and father are active participants in a child’s upbringing. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verses 14: 

‘ And We (Allah Almighty) have decreed upon mankind in regard to his parents; his mother carried him (in pregnancy exposing her to) weakness upon weakness; and his dependent nourishment (from her) for two years; (thus O mankind) be grateful to Me (Allah Almighty) and to your parents, and to Me is (your ultimate) destination‘ 

The Joint Responsibility of Guardianship 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the role of a guardian is a serious responsibility. This duty is shared by both parents, who are equally accountable for guiding and protecting their children. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 893, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When a man appoints a guardian over his family, he is responsible for them.’ 

By handling discipline calmly in the moment, you are fulfilling your own entrusted role as a parent. Your child learns that both parents are sources of wisdom and steady guidance, which builds a foundation of respect rather than fear or imbalance.