What should a child say when a peer makes fun of them in front of others? 

Parenting Perspective 

Few things can sting as much as being teased in public. Whether it happens in the classroom, during a game, or among a group of friends, being laughed at can leave a child feeling small and powerless. However, teaching your child how to respond with a calm strength, without resorting to insults or retreating into silence, can help to turn that hurt into self-respect. The goal is not to “win” the moment, but to keep their dignity intact while quietly disarming the cruelty. 

Beginning with Empathy and Reassurance 

You can start by saying, ‘It is okay to feel hurt when someone makes fun of you. That does not make you weak; it just means you care about being treated with respect.’ This helps your child to recognise that feeling upset is a normal reaction. Validating their emotion first allows you to then guide them towards a more thoughtful and composed response. 

Teaching Calm and Disarming Phrases 

Children do not need to learn sharp comebacks. They need calm and confident words that can stop the teasing without escalating the situation. 

• ‘That is not funny to me.’ 

• ‘I would rather you did not talk to me that way.’ 

• ‘You do not need to say that.’ 

• A particularly good phrase is: ‘That is not funny to me.’ 

These phrases are brief, polite, and assertive, signalling a sense of self-respect without any aggression. 

Practising a Neutral Tone and Expression 

Role-playing can help your child to sound composed and confident instead of defensive. For example: 

Parent (as peer): ‘Nice haircut! Did you cut it in the dark?’ 

Child: ‘That is not funny to me.’ 

Parent: ‘That was perfect. You used a calm voice and a steady face, with no sarcasm.’ 

Explaining the Power of Detachment 

You can explain to your child, ‘People who tease you often want a big reaction. When you can stay calm, they lose their power.’ Teach them that silence, a calm reply, or simply walking away are all forms of strength. They show control, not defeat. 

Equipping Them to Handle an Audience 

Being teased in public can feel worse because other people might be laughing along. You can teach your child to look directly at the person who is teasing them, not at the crowd, and to reply with a simple, serious statement like, ‘That was not kind.’ Short and serious statements can often shift the energy of a group. 

Teaching Them When to Walk Away 

You can advise your child, ‘If the teasing keeps going, it is best to walk away or to tell a trusted adult. Protecting yourself is not tattling; it is just taking care of your own peace.’ This shows them that asking for support is a responsible act, not a weak one. 

Praising Their Composure 

When your child manages to handle a situation like this with maturity, praise them for it. For example, ‘You handled that with so much maturity. You stayed calm and did not let their words control you.’ Praise helps to reinforce the power of emotional steadiness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches believers to face any harm or mockery they may receive with patience, dignity, and a spirit of forgiveness, not humiliation or revenge. Responding with restraint is a reflection of sabr (patience) and ihsan (beautiful character). It shows that the strongest response to cruelty is a grace that is guided by faith. 

The Quranic Strength of Graceful Restraint 

The Quran guides us to meet mockery with dignity. A peaceful response is not an act of surrender, but one of spiritual strength. It is a way of protecting our own self-respect without falling into the trap of anger or insults. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.’ 

When your child says, “That is not funny to me,” with a calm demeanour, they are embodying the spirit of this verse. 

The Prophetic Example of Patience and Honour 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ remind us that humility and restraint are what raise a person’s honour in the sight of Allah Almighty. When we refuse to join in with mockery or to respond to it harshly, we are displaying the quiet nobility that Islam cherishes. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 619, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘…no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah but Allah raises his status.‘ 

This hadith teaches that a humble and patient response to being provoked is what earns a person true honour. 

When your child learns to say, “That is not funny to me,” instead of snapping back, they are discovering that calmness is a form of power. They are realising that responding with dignity is what protects both their heart and their faith. 

Each gentle boundary they draw teaches others that kindness is the only acceptable language. Over time, they will come to see that self-control does not mean silence; it means strength. 

In every poised and peaceful response, your child comes to reflect the prophetic balance of character: a courage without cruelty, a dignity without pride, and a faith that shines through with grace, even in the face of mockery.