What new activities can widen my child’s friendship base and sense of belonging? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child has experienced exclusion or unkindness, their social world can feel small and uncertain. They may start to believe that nobody likes them or that they will never fit in. However, a sense of belonging is not found by forcing friendships in the same hurtful spaces. It grows by creating new experiences that reveal different sides of your child, allowing connections to form naturally and mutually. 

The key is to guide them towards environments that nurture cooperation, shared purpose, and kindness. In these settings, they can contribute rather than just trying to fit in. When children feel useful and valued, their confidence grows, and friendships often follow. 

Start with Their Natural Interests 

Ask your child, ‘What do you enjoy doing, even when no one is watching?’ This question helps to identify their genuine interests, rather than choices driven by social pressure. Whether it is drawing, building, helping others, coding, or storytelling, begin with what already brings them joy. 

When a child joins an activity that aligns with their natural temperament, they meet others who appreciate those same qualities. Belonging begins with being seen and valued for who you already are. 

Prioritise Cooperation Over Competition 

While sports can be wonderful for teamwork, it is best to avoid highly competitive atmospheres at first. Look for collaborative spaces where kindness and inclusion are modelled as core values. 

• Art or drama clubs where everyone contributes to a shared project. 

• Environmental or nature groups where teamwork supports a common cause. 

• Volunteering with local charities or mosque youth programmes. 

• Team-building sports with mixed skill levels, such as swimming or climbing. 

These activities shift the focus from ‘Who is the best?’ to ‘What can we achieve together?’ This mindset helps to heal social wounds and build empathy. 

Foster a Sense of Purpose Through Service 

Helping others can create an instant sense of belonging. Encourage small, service-based opportunities that allow your child to feel useful. 

• Helping to set up chairs at the mosque or a community hall. 

• Joining a youth initiative at a local food bank. 

• Reading to younger children at their school. 

Through service, your child experiences a joy of connection that is not conditional on their social status. You can say, ‘When you help others, you will always find good people helping beside you.’ This teaches them that belonging grows through contribution, not popularity. 

Explore Creative and Expressive Outlets 

Creative activities often attract a diverse group of open-hearted children. You could consider: 

• Music, choir, or nasheed groups. 

• Creative writing or poetry clubs. 

• Art workshops or calligraphy classes. 

• Drama or public speaking groups with positive mentors. 

These outlets give your child a chance to express their emotions, find their voice, and experience affirmation through creation, not comparison. 

Connect with Faith-Based Groups 

In many cases, mosque youth groups or Islamic learning circles provide spaces where values of kindness, respect, and service are actively nurtured. These settings can be especially healing if your child has felt judged in other environments. 

Participation in such groups also grounds them in their identity, reminding them that their worth is not measured by social approval but by their sincerity before Allah Almighty. 

Begin with Short-Term Commitments 

If your child feels anxious about joining something new, start small. Suggest a one-day workshop or a short course rather than a long-term commitment. You could say, ‘Let us just go once and see what it is like. You do not have to decide now.’ 

This approach turns new experiences into an exploration, not a pressure-filled task. Small, positive encounters can open the door to longer-term friendships later. 

Give Them a Say in the Decision 

Invite your child to shortlist two or three possible activities and visit the spaces together. Let them observe the environment and ask them, ‘Do the people here seem kind?’ or, ‘Does this group make you feel comfortable?’ 

When they are involved in the choice, they become more emotionally invested. This makes belonging a personal discovery, not a parental prescription. 

Encourage Gently Without Pressure 

Once they have joined an activity, give them space for the experience to unfold naturally. Avoid asking, ‘Did you make any friends?’ Instead, you could ask, ‘How did you feel being there?’ or, ‘What was something interesting about it?’ 

This keeps the focus on their enjoyment, not on social outcomes. Over time, consistent positive experiences often form lasting bonds on their own. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, belonging is built on shared goodness through companionship rooted in faith, service, and mutual respect. Expanding your child’s circle through beneficial activities is not just a form of social recovery; it is the cultivation of suhbah salihah, or righteous companionship that uplifts both the heart and character. 

Building Belonging Through Shared Good in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 2: 

‘…And participate with each other to promote righteousness and piety, and do not collaborate in the committal of any sin or moral transgression…’ 

This verse teaches that true togetherness is built upon shared good deeds. When your child joins spaces that value kindness, justice, and cooperation, they are aligning their friendships with divine principles of connection. 

The Value of Good Companions in the Prophet’s Teachings 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2101, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The parable of a good companion and a bad companion is that of the seller of musk and the one who works the bellows. The seller of musk will either give you some, or you will buy some from him, or you will find a good scent from him. As for the one who works the bellows, he will either burn your clothes or you will find a bad scent from him.’ 

This hadith beautifully illustrates how the company we keep shapes our inner state. When your child spends time with kind and purposeful peers, they absorb that fragrance of goodness, the quiet confidence and warmth that comes from belonging among those who bring out the best in them. 

By widening your child’s world through meaningful activities, you are not just helping them to ‘make friends.’ You are teaching them where real belonging is found: in shared kindness, curiosity, and faith. 

Every art project, act of service, or moment of teamwork becomes a new doorway, an invitation to grow in strength and sincerity, surrounded by those who remind them that goodness always attracts goodness, and that hearts grounded in faith will always find their way back to belonging.