What is a gentle way to ask a friend to stop copying or touching their things? 

Parenting Perspective 

Many children find it difficult to protect their personal space and belongings without sounding harsh. When a friend repeatedly copies their drawing or fiddles with their favourite toy, a child’s instinctive reaction might be to blurt out, ‘Stop it! That is mine!’ or to snatch the item back. While their frustration is valid, this abruptness can damage a friendship. By teaching your child how to set a boundary politely, you can show them that self-respect and kindness can go hand in hand. 

Explain That Setting Boundaries Is Not Selfish 

Begin by reassuring your child that their feelings are valid. You can say: ‘It is perfectly okay to want your things to be respected. The way you ask makes the difference between sounding rude and sounding confident.’ This helps them to see that protecting their belongings is not selfish, but a normal part of healthy friendships. 

Provide Gentle but Clear Scripts 

Equip your child with short, polite phrases they can use instead of snapping. These phrases deliver the message clearly without shaming the friend or pushing them away. 

• ‘I would like to keep this with me, please.’ 

• ‘I have worked hard on this drawing. Would you mind creating your own version?’ 

• ‘I do not like it when my things are touched without asking. Could you please ask first next time?’ 

• ‘You are welcome to look, but I would rather you did not touch it, please.’ 

Clarify the Difference Between Sharing and Ownership 

Explain to your child that while sharing is a generous and important value, it is not always required. A child should not be made to feel guilty for wanting to keep certain special items to themselves. You can role-play different scenarios, allowing your child to practise both sharing generously and politely declining, so they understand that both are valid choices. 

Coach Them on a Calm Tone and Body Language 

Remind your child that a polite phrase spoken with an angry tone can still feel harsh. Coach them to use an even voice, maintain relaxed shoulders, and use steady, calm words. Practise by having one person play the role of the friend who is touching an item, while the other uses a gentle boundary phrase. 

Teach Them How to Repair the Moment if They Snap 

If your child does blurt out an angry command, teach them how to quickly repair the interaction: ‘I am sorry, that came out a bit cross. I just meant that this is important to me, so please do not touch it.’ Normalising the act of making a quick repair teaches humility and shows them how to turn a rough moment back towards respect. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam Teaches Respect for Belongings 

The noble Quran encourages believers to seek permission before entering the private spaces of others, a principle that extends to personal belongings. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verses 27: 

‘O those of you who are believers, do not enter houses (of other people) except your own homes; unless you have permission from them, (and when you do) say Salaams upon the inhabitants…’ 

Although this verse is about entering homes, it reflects the beautiful Islamic principle of seeking permission. Just as we cannot enter a person’s home without their consent, we should not touch or use their belongings without asking first. A parent can explain: ‘Your belongings are like your own small, private space. Teaching your friends to ask for permission is part of the respect that Allah commands.’ 

The Prophet’s ﷺTeaching on Not Harming Others 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ established a clear and comprehensive principle for all human interactions: do no harm. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, 2340, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.’ 

This hadith can be shared with children to show that even seemingly small actions, like touching or copying someone’s work without their permission, can feel hurtful. A phrase like, ‘Please do not touch that, it is important to me,’ is a gentle way of protec