What helps when my child refuses to share classroom resources fairly? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child hoards crayons, glue sticks, or sports equipment at school, it is rarely a simple case of selfishness. Often, this behaviour reflects an underlying insecurity, such as a fear of losing control, being left out, or not receiving enough recognition. The first step is to see the need beneath the behaviour. 

Understand the Emotional Root 

Start by creating a safe space for conversation. Ask gently after school, ‘I heard you did not want to share the markers today. What made that difficult for you?’ This approach helps your child feel understood rather than accused. A child who feels safe to talk is more willing to change. Avoid labels like ‘stingy’ or ‘unkind’, which only deepen defensiveness. Instead, connect sharing to a sense of belonging: ‘When you share, you make friends and become part of the team.’ Use stories and role-play at home to help them experience fairness emotionally, such as taking turns during board games. 

Teach Practical Skills, Not Just Morals 

Children often need explicit strategies to share effectively, not just vague reminders to ‘be kind’. You can teach them practical skills to handle these situations. 

• Visual Fairness: Give identical sets of stationery at home and practise taking fair turns. 

• Boundary Language: Teach them to say, ‘You can use it after me,’ instead of a simple ‘No.’ 

• Empathy Cue: Ask questions that encourage perspective-taking, like, ‘How would you feel if someone never shared with you?’ 

Reinforce Progress, Not Perfection 

When your child shows even the smallest act of fairness, such as offering an item or suggesting a turn, praise the action specifically: ‘That was very generous. You made space for others.’ This positive reinforcement helps them find inner satisfaction in doing the right thing. If the issue persists, collaborate calmly with their teacher. Creating consistent cues, like reminder cards or agreed phrases at both home and school, helps your child see fairness as a shared value, not just a household rule. 

Spiritual Insight 

Fairness in small things mirrors the justice that Allah Almighty commands. Islam teaches that even the distribution of worldly items reflects the state of one’s heart. Children who learn fairness early carry that balance into adulthood, where it becomes a source of moral strength. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verses 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners; and when you (are asked to) judge between people, that you should judge with justice…’ 

This verse reminds believers that justice is not limited to courts or wealth; it applies to every trust, big or small. Sharing resources fairly at school is a child’s way of living that justice in miniature. When they give others a fair turn, they are fulfilling a divine command to honour balance. Explain to your child that every fair act is noticed by Allah Almighty and recorded as a righteous deed. 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ beautifully link faith to generosity. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 13, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

When a child refuses to share, it presents an opportunity to awaken their empathy. Teach them that sharing is a form of love and faith in action. You might tell them, ‘Every time you let someone use your things, you are showing the character of a true believer.’ 

Turn the concept of sharing into a spiritual habit. Encourage them to start the school day with an intention: ‘Ya Allah, help me to be fair and kind today.’ When they return home, ask about moments that made them feel proud of their fairness and connect those moments to the reward from Allah Almighty. In time, they will learn that fairness is not about losing possessions but about gaining peace. By nurturing both empathy and faith, you raise a child who shares not because they must, but because their heart feels full when they do.