Parenting Perspective 

Start With Calm, Then Containment 

When your child shows you a post or message that explains their exclusion, your first response should be to breathe and then contain the situation. Offer a glass of water, sit beside them, and say, ‘I see why that hurt so much. I am here with you’. Do not rush to investigate while their emotions are raw. Your primary role is to steady their feelings, limit frantic scrolling, and protect their self-worth. Gently say, ‘Let us put the phone down for a few minutes, and then we will decide what to do’. Children often borrow their sense of calm from their parents; your tone will shape their recovery more than any immediate action you take.¹ 

Separate Story From Fact 

Teach your child to distinguish between a rumour and a verified truth. You can say, ‘There is what they said, what you felt, and what we can actually confirm’. Go through what they saw, who posted it, and what was claimed. Avoid making assumptions like, ‘They must have done it on purpose’. Stick to the known facts: ‘Someone posted this, and it has spread’. Creating clear boundaries between feelings and facts helps to reduce confusion and protects your child from exaggerating the pain. 

Choose One Wise Response 

Once a sense of calm returns, help your child to choose a single, clear step rather than launching a wave of reactions. 

• If safety is involved, save the evidence and report it to the platform or the school, keeping all screenshots dated. 

• If clarity is needed, you could draft a private, polite message such as, ‘I saw this online. I would like to clear up any misunderstanding if that is possible’. 

• If it is based on gossip, it is often best to take a step back and let silence do the work. Not every story deserves the oxygen of a response. Teach them that dignity often means not replying at all. 

Restore Real-World Connection 

Online shame can be incredibly isolating. Counteract this by helping your child reconnect with their offline world. Plan a walk, share a meal, or arrange a chat with a loyal friend. Encourage small, real-life wins through acts of kindness, sport, reading, or helping around the house to re-anchor their confidence in the physical world. Explain that the internet magnifies noise, but real value lives in our actions and presence. 

Rebuild Internal Strength 

Explain that being spoken about wrongly is hurtful, but truth always travels more slowly and lasts longer. Ask them, ‘What do you want people to remember about you next week?’. Help them to live that answer in the present moment. Praise the courage it takes to remain kind when misunderstood. Remind them: ‘What people say online fades, but who you are remains’. 

Parental Guardrails 

• Do not explode or confront other families online, as this will only deepen the harm. 

• Stay off gossip threads and focus on finding solutions. 

• Reassure your child daily, not just once, that their safety, dignity, and sense of belonging are being rebuilt. 

• Encourage sleep, hydration, prayer, and limited screen time, as digital calm is achieved faster in a rested body. 

Spiritual Insight 

Truth, Verification, and Patience 

When rumours spread, Islam teaches believers to pause, verify information, and protect others from harm.² This is a moment to remind your child that truth and calm are stronger than noise. Teach them that Allah Almighty knows every heart and that patience during a time of injustice is a shield of honour. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 6: 

‘O you, who are believers, if there comes to you a deviant (person) with information, then cross-examine it; as it may cause you (unintentionally) to harm a nation in ignorance; as then afterwards you will become regretful over your actions.’ 

This verse can serve as a daily guide for navigating the digital world. Explain to your child that not everything shared online deserves to be believed or repeated. Verifying facts, staying silent when in doubt, and refusing to harm others by reposting are all acts of obedience to Allah Almighty. Remind them that the truth eventually surfaces, and those who remain fair and gentle are remembered with respect. 

It is recorded in Mishkaat Al Masaabih, Hadith 156, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is enough falsehood for a person to narrate everything he hears.’ 

Tell your child that this hadith is a powerful digital rule: sharing every rumour makes one a part of that falsehood. Teach them to protect their honour through silence and wisdom. End with a family prayer: ‘O Allah, keep our tongues truthful, our hearts patient, and our reputation safe’. With time, your child will understand that being excluded by people does not mean being forgotten by Allah Almighty. He sees, He knows, and He repairs what is broken with justice and mercy.