What helps them see growing up as a trust not a trophy? 

Parenting Perspective 

As children grow older, they may begin to view their maturity as a trophy, something to show off with pride. They might boast about being taller, stronger, or more independent than their siblings and friends. In a world where milestones are often celebrated with comparison, it is easy for them to believe that growing up is about proving their superiority. Parents have the important responsibility of showing them that growth is not a trophy to be displayed, but a trust (amanah) from Allah Almighty. 

Growth is a trust because every new stage brings new responsibilities. A bigger body has a greater ability to help, more knowledge requires more wisdom, and greater independence calls for more accountability. If children are taught to treat their growth as a sacred trust, they will approach maturity with humility and responsibility rather than with arrogance and pride. 

Shaping Growth as Responsibility 

You can guide this understanding by linking every privilege to a corresponding responsibility. If a child is trusted with more freedom, they must also be trusted to be honest. If they are given more strength, they must use it to protect and assist, not to harm or boast. When a child sees how growth connects with responsibility, they learn that maturity is not a prize to flaunt, but a trust they must honour. 

Correcting the ‘Trophy Mindset’ 

At times, children may compare themselves, thinking, ‘I am better because I am older’. Parents can gently correct this by reminding them that size and age are gifts from Allah, not personal achievements. What truly matters is how those gifts are used. A simple way to do this is to ask: ‘Are you using your strength to make life easier for others?’ This reframes growth as service rather than pride. 

Celebrating Humility in Milestones 

Parents can also shape how milestones are celebrated. Instead of focusing only on external achievements, they can highlight inner qualities. For example, when a child grows taller, celebrate their growing kindness as well as their height. When they take on new responsibilities, praise their reliability, not just the task itself. This keeps the focus on maturity as a trust of character, not a trophy of status. 

Leading by Example 

Children absorb their parents’ attitudes. If they see adults treating blessings like wealth or position as trophies, they will imitate that mindset. However, if they see their parents treating every gift from Allah as a trust to be used wisely, they will learn to value humility over pride. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that every blessing, including our physical growth, is a trust from Allah Almighty. A trust is not meant to inflate the ego but to deepen our sense of accountability. Parents can nurture this awareness in their children by reminding them that every stage of maturity is a test, not a medal. 

It is important to prepare a child by explaining that Allah does not give blessings without purpose. Growth in size, knowledge, and ability is not random; it is entrusted to us so that we may use it to serve Him and His creation. This helps children see their maturity as part of their amanah, not a personal victory. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfal (8), Verses 27: 

‘O you who have believed, do not betray Allah and the Messenger, or betray your trusts while you know [the consequence]…’ 

This verse makes it clear that every trust given to a believer must be honoured. Parents can explain to their children: ‘Your strength and independence are trusts from Allah. They are not trophies to show off, but responsibilities to fulfil. If you misuse them, it is like betraying a trust. But if you honour them, Allah will reward you’. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ reinforced this teaching. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim Hadith 1829, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about his flock.’ 

This Hadith shows that maturity is about accountability. Every person, regardless of their role or size, is responsible before Allah for how they use their influence. Parents can use this to explain that being older or stronger does not grant freedom to dominate, but imposes a greater duty to care for, guide, and protect others. 

Together, the Quranic verse and the Hadith present a clear lesson: growth is not a trophy for pride, it is a trust that carries responsibility. Parents who instil this perspective in their children help them to develop humility and mindfulness. Instead of boasting about milestones, their children will begin to ask themselves, ‘How can I use what Allah has given me in the best way?’ When they learn this truth, they will carry their growth with gratitude and care, knowing that every step forward is a trust to be fulfilled before Allah Almighty.