What examples from daily life show fairness in different forms? 

Parenting Perspective 

Fairness is one of the most challenging concepts for children to understand, because it often looks different in each unique situation. Parents may give one child more study time, another more playtime, or different privileges based upon age or need. What matters most is how fairness feels whether each child senses that their needs are seen, respected, and met with sincerity. The goal is to help children notice the many small, everyday ways fairness operates in family life, even when it does not look equal. 

Start with Daily Observations 

Children learn best when fairness is shown, not just spoken about. You might begin by saying, “Fairness is not always giving the same, but giving what helps each person most.” Then, use examples they already experience. For instance, when serving food, say, “I gave your younger sister a smaller portion because she eats less, and you received more because you are older. That is fair.” Or when helping with schoolwork, explain, “Your brother needed more help this week, and you were able to study on your own. That is fair too.” These small, repeated explanations help fairness become something the child feels in context, not a distant theory. 

Highlight Fairness in Shared Routines 

Involve children in turn taking activities (choosing family movies, helping set the table, or leading du’a after Salah). When someone gets a turn, say aloud, “Now it is your sibling’s turn. That way, everyone gets their chance.” Visual fairness builds emotional trust. You could also use a fairness board (a small whiteboard or notebook) where children write down things that felt fair during the week, such as “I received help with my homework today,” or “We all got to share dessert.” This simple activity trains them to notice balance rather than comparison. If one child is sick and another wants attention, explain gently, “Right now, I am helping your brother because he needs extra care. When you need me, I will do the same for you.” This reframes fairness as responsiveness, a reflection of love’s flexibility rather than rigidity. 

Model Fairness in Your Words and Reactions 

Children watch closely how parents speak. Avoid comparing siblings’ achievements or saying, “See how your sister manages?” Such phrases unintentionally create rivalry. Instead, highlight effort: “I see you are both trying your best in different ways.” When conflicts arise, approach each child privately before making a decision. Fairness sometimes means giving separate attention, not joint correction. Later, summarise together: “I listened to both of you and made the choice that seemed right for everyone.” This process teaches that fairness involves understanding, not just dividing. Encourage them to share compliments. Such exchanges turn fairness into collective appreciation rather than competition. You can also use outside examples that children recognise (teachers giving more time to struggling students, doctors attending to those in pain first, or elders receiving seats before the young). Ask, “Was that fair?” Then explain why; because fairness serves need, not equality. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic fairness (adl) is one of the central pillars of faith. It means to act with justice according to context, wisdom, and compassion. Parents, as caretakers, must embody this principle by treating each child according to their needs, guided by sincerity and balance. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An Nahl (16), Verse 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah commands justice, the doing of good, and giving to relatives, and forbids immorality, bad conduct, and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded…’ 

This verse shows that justice is not a mechanical rule but a living practice of goodness and kindness. Parents can tell their children, ‘Allah Almighty loves when we are fair, and fairness sometimes means helping one person more when they need it most.’  

Furthermore, it is recorded in Bulugh Al-Maram, Hadith 184, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just among your children in gifts, as you would like them to be just towards you in kindness and respect.’ 

This Hadith encourages justice not only in giving material things but in affection, time, and attention. Parents can share, ‘Being fair to each of you is part of worship. When I think carefully before making decisions, I am trying to please Allah Almighty.’ When children hear fairness described as an act of faith rather than rule-keeping, they begin to view it with reverence. They realise that justice in the family reflects divine mercy, where every heart receives exactly what it needs, when it needs it. Families that live by this understanding raise children who carry fairness into the wider world, who see justice not as competition but as compassion in action.