What do I say when my child’s online game freezes during a key moment and they lash out? 

Parenting Perspective 

When an online game freezes during a critical moment, the intense rush of excitement and concentration can instantly turn into frustration or anger. This provides a real-time opportunity for you to model a calm response and guide your child through regulating a very strong emotion. 

Acknowledge the Intensity of the Moment 

First, show that you understand the situation from their perspective. Saying something like, ‘I can see how focused you were. It must feel incredibly unfair for it to freeze right now,’ validates their feelings rather than dismissing them as an overreaction. 

Separate the Problem from the Reaction 

Gently help them to recognise that while the technical glitch is frustrating, their reaction is a separate choice. You can suggest taking a brief break to reset their emotions, perhaps by stretching, getting a drink of water, or stepping outside for a moment to release the physical tension. 

Teach a Reset Routine 

In a calmer moment, you can create a simple plan for what to do if it happens again. This could be a ‘three deep breaths’ rule, counting backwards from five, or focusing on a positive aspect of the game they just played. Over time, this builds resilience to sudden setbacks. 

Your own calm and empathetic response is crucial. It teaches them that while frustration is a natural feeling, it is also manageable, even in high-stakes or competitive situations. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam strongly encourages believers to control their anger and to respond to frustrating situations with patience, especially when those situations are completely beyond their control. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘ And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.‘ 

This reminds us that choosing to be patient, especially when annoyed or frustrated, is a sign of true inner strength and resolve. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4782, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will leave him; if not, let him lie down.’ 

This provides beautiful, practical, and physical steps to de-escalate rising anger before it takes control of our actions. 

By helping your child to apply these calming strategies in the heat of the moment, you guide them towards the profound Islamic value of self-control, turning even a failed game into a successful lesson in patience and dignity.