What do I say when a party game pushes kids to shove for prizes? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children’s parties can easily shift from excitement to chaos, especially when competition is mixed with pressure. If you see children beginning to shove, snatch, or grab aggressively, it is not ungrateful to intervene; it is a responsible act of care. Your aim is not to shame the host or the other children, but to protect the values of respect, fairness, and safety. 

Intervene Gently but Clearly 

Move closer to the group and use a calm, cheerful tone to reset the atmosphere. You could say, ‘Wow, it looks like everyone is really excited about the prizes! Let us just pause for a moment so that everyone gets a fair chance.’ This approach can diffuse the tension without pointing fingers. If the behaviour continues, you can position yourself near your child and softly guide them back: ‘Let us step aside for a bit until things are calmer.’ 

Frame the Intervention Around Fairness 

Children respond better to the idea of fairness than to the fear of punishment. You could add, ‘We all want to have fun and be safe. No one should get hurt trying to win a prize.’ If the host is open to it, you can help to reorganise the game by suggesting turns or a sharing system. If not, you can gently model restraint by encouraging your child to wait and clap for the others. 

Support and Validate Your Child’s Feelings 

Later on, acknowledge how awkward the situation might have felt for them: ‘I know it was hard to step back when everyone else was rushing forward, but I am so proud of you for staying calm.’ This praise reinforces their self-control as a strength. If they felt left out, validate that feeling too: ‘It is normal to feel disappointed, but you chose to be safe and respectful, and that is what matters most.’ 

How to Speak with the Host 

If the pushing continues, you can step aside with the host and say kindly, ‘The children are so excited. It is turning into a bit of a scramble, and I am worried someone might get hurt. Perhaps we could slow it down a little?’ It is always best to use collaborative language like ‘we’ and ‘the kids’. If the situation does not improve, you can always quietly remove your child under the pretext of a snack or a restroom break. 

Prioritise Self-Respect Over Winning 

Once you are home, you can reflect on the experience together: ‘In our family, we never push or shove to get things. If we lose out on a prize by choosing to be kind, we are still winning in the eyes of Allah.’ This turns a frustrating moment into a moral anchor for your child. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, competition is encouraged when it inspires excellence, but not when it fosters hostility. Teaching your child to protect the safety and dignity of others, even when those around them are not, helps to align them with the moral strength of our faith. 

Cooperate in Goodness, Not Aggression 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 2: 

‘…And participate with each other to promote righteousness and piety, and do not collaborate in the committal of any sin or moral transgression…’ 

This verse reminds us that true participation means contributing to what is good, not joining in with harmful behaviour for the sake of a prize. A believer should step back from any game or contest that compromises another person’s safety or peace. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 45, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

This teaches that kindness and empathy must guide us even in our moments of play. To push or grab for one’s own gain at the expense of another goes against this beautiful spirit of brotherhood. 

Explain to your child that games can be a form of worship when they are played with fairness and good manners. Simple acts like saying ‘after you’ or sharing a prize are a reflection of inner strength and faith. Remind them that Allah Almighty sees every small act of restraint, even when others do not notice.