What Do I Do If Relatives Criticise Me for Not Letting My Child Overeat?

Parenting Perspective 

It is natural for parents to feel frustrated or anxious when relatives question their decisions about food and parenting. The emotional core here is a mix of defensiveness, worry about appearing rude, and the strong desire to maintain family harmony. Children may also pick up on these tensions, which can make them anxious about eating or self-control. Addressing this situation effectively requires both inner calm and clear, consistent communication. 

Ground Yourself and Respond Calmly 

Before responding to criticism, take a moment to ground yourself. Remind yourself that your priority is your child’s health and spiritual development, which aligns with Islamic teachings. When you respond, do so calmly and briefly, framing your actions positively rather than defensively. 

Confident, calm phrases for relatives: 

• ‘I appreciate your concern, but we are teaching our child to eat in a balanced way so they feel well and healthy.’ 

• ‘We are focused on teaching them self-control and mindful eating, which is a high priority for us.’ 

• ‘They are happy with that portion for now, thank you.’ 

Keep your explanations short and consistent. Lengthy debates often fail to change minds and only escalate tension, whereas consistent, calm messaging is more effective in setting a firm boundary. 

Involve and Empower the Child 

It is helpful to involve children in understanding these boundaries. Explain, in simple terms, that your family has chosen to honour their body’s signals and to practise moderation, which is an act of self-care and respect. 

Role-play polite responses with them in advance, such as: 

• ‘Thank you, I am full now.’ 

• ‘I am enjoying what I have, but I do not need more.’ 

This empowers children to respond confidently and politely, without feeling caught in the middle of criticism or pressure. 

Model Restraint Publicly 

Lead by example. Show relatives and children that you also take moderate portions and enjoy your food mindfully. Narrate your practice for all to hear. 

Parent script: ‘I am taking a small portion because I feel satisfied, and it helps me feel good and energetic for the rest of the day.’ 

When children see adults modelling restraint calmly, it powerfully reinforces that moderation is a normal, respectable, and conscious choice, not a punishment. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that caring for one’s health and practising moderation is an integral part of a believer’s responsibility and character. Educating children in a way that respects both their physical limits and the wisdom of moderation is an act of guidance and protection. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verse 31: 

‘O children of Adam, take (appropriate) measures to beautify yourself (before you appear) at any place of worship (for Prayer); and eat and drink and do not be extravagant (wasteful), as indeed, He (Allah Almighty) does not like extravagance.’ 

This verse reminds us that excess is discouraged, even in the midst of celebration or abundance. Children and adults alike are encouraged to enjoy the provisions of Allah Almighty in moderation. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 515, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best food of a person is that which fills one-third for food, one-third for drink, and one-third for the breath.’ 

This Hadith provides a clear, practical guideline for moderation. By teaching children to follow these prophetic principles and calmly reinforcing them with relatives, parents demonstrate both spiritual awareness and practical care. 

When relatives criticise your approach, remember that your actions are guided by both concern for your child’s well-being and the teachings of Islam. Consistency, calmness, and gentle explanation help maintain respect while upholding healthy boundaries, showing children that moderation is both wise and honoured.