What can parents do if they worry their child is smarter at tech than they are? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is a common and natural feeling for parents to become anxious when they realise their children know more about technology than they do. However, effective parenting is not about outsmarting your child in every area; it is about providing guidance on values and choices. The key is to reframe the relationship from one of competition to one of mentorship, where your wisdom complements their skill. 

Shift From Competition to Guidance 

Parents can remind themselves that even if their child possesses stronger technical skills, they still depend on their parents for wisdom, maturity, and moral direction. This reframes your role from being a competitor in technical knowledge to being a mentor in life, which is where your true authority lies. 

Turn Their Knowledge Into a Partnership 

Rather than hiding your insecurity, you can be honest and open with your child: ‘You know much more about this app than I do. Why do you not show me how it works?’ This display of humility builds trust and allows your child to feel valued for their knowledge. In turn, it opens the door for you to discuss safety and boundaries while you learn together. When children see that their knowledge is respected, they are far more likely to listen to parental guidance. 

Focus on Values, Not Just Controls 

Even if your child is able to bypass a filter or understands the privacy settings better than you do, they cannot bypass core principles. You should therefore focus on instilling self-regulation, teaching them that honesty, modesty, and responsibility are values that apply just as much online as they do offline. By emphasising conscience over control, you ensure that your guidance remains effective even when they outpace you technologically. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that true parental guidance lies in passing on timeless wisdom and values, even if a child surpasses their parent in certain worldly skills. By accepting that your child may be more advanced in technology but ensuring they remain grounded in their faith, you can shift your focus from ‘keeping up’ to guiding their heart. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verses 13: 

‘ And when (Prophet) Luqman (AS) said to his son, whilst he was offering him enlightened direction: “O my son, do not ascribe to anything (which amounts to  icon worshipping/paganism), instead of (worshipping) Allah (Almighty); indeed, this kind of icon worshipping/paganism is the worst form of darkness (of ignorance and immorality)”.‘ 

This verse is a beautiful reminder of the parental role. Luqman the Wise was not teaching his son a technical skill, but was imparting the most important wisdom of all: the foundation of faith and good character. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6125, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Make things easy and do not make them difficult, give glad tidings and do not drive people away.’ 

This teaching encourages parents to approach their children’s strengths with a sense of ease and encouragement, rather than with fear or defensiveness. 

This balanced approach allows families to stay connected, turning any differences in skill into valuable opportunities for building trust, teamwork, and spiritual growth under the guidance of Allah Almighty.