What can I say when they ask why our food smells different from their friends’? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child asks why your family’s food smells different from their friends’, it is often an expression of a deeper feeling: they are noticing a cultural contrast and feeling a touch of self-consciousness about it. This is a pivotal moment for a parent to replace that potential embarrassment with a quiet and deeply rooted sense of pride. The key is to respond with calm, confident honesty, not defensiveness. 

Acknowledge the Difference with Confidence 

Your first response sets the tone for your child’s entire perception of their cultural identity. Avoid dismissing their observation or explaining it away defensively. Instead, meet their curiosity with a warm and positive acknowledgement.You could say, ‘Yes, you are right, our food does smell wonderfully different! That beautiful aroma is what makes it so special and unique to our family’. This simple act of validating their observation while positively framing it teaches them that being different is not a flaw; it is a distinction.  

Turn Curiosity into a Sensory Exploration 

Transform your child’s question into an opportunity for discovery. Help them understand that the aroma they notice comes from special ingredients that carry centuries of history, nourishment, and meaning. Turn the experience into a sensory exploration.Open up your spice jars and let your child see, touch, and smell the sources of these aromas. Let them smell the earthiness of cumin, the sweetness of cinnamon, or the fragrance of cardamom. You can tell them stories about where these spices grow and how they have been used by our ancestors not just for their delicious flavour, but also for their healing and warming properties. 

Empower Them with Knowledge and Hospitality 

Prepare your child for social situations by giving them the tools to respond with knowledge, not awkwardness. Provide them with gentle, informative scripts they can use if a friend ever comments on the smell of their food.You could practice with them: ‘If someone at school ever says your food smells strong, you can smile and say, “Yes, that is the smell of turmeric and ginger! They are healthy spices that give our food its beautiful golden colour”’. Equipping them with knowledge turns a moment of potential embarrassment into an opportunity for them to be a confident cultural ambassador.  

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, diversity is not an accident but a deliberate and beautiful sign of Allah’s infinite creative power. The unique aromas of different cultural cuisines are a part of this magnificent tapestry, and learning to appreciate them is an act of reflecting on the signs of our Creator. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ar Rum (30), Verse 22: 

‘And among His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the diversity of your languages and your colours. Indeed, in that are signs for those of knowledge…’ 

This verse reminds us that difference is a divine sign intended for “those of knowledge.” Explain to your child that this beautiful diversity extends to the foods and aromas of different peoples. Just as every flower in a garden has its own unique and beautiful fragrance, every nation has its own distinct aromas in the kitchen. Allah Almighty created this variety not for us to compare or feel self-conscious about, but to appreciate and learn from.  

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 611, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:  

‘Indeed, Allah is beautiful and loves beauty.’ 

Teach your child that beauty (jamal) in Islam is a holistic concept that goes beyond just what is visually pleasing. The rich, fragrant aroma of wholesome food being cooked with love and remembrance of Allah is a form of sensory beauty that fills a home with warmth and blessing. You can say, ‘When our home is filled with the beautiful smells of our traditional spices, it is part of our family’s way of expressing gratitude to Allah and creating a home that is full of care’. Encourage them to say ‘Alhamdulillah’ for these blessings. Help them to see each unique aroma not as something “different” or “weird,” but as the beautiful scent of love, history, and divine creativity that fills their home with barakah.