What can I do when my child throws themselves on the floor after I say no to sweets? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child collapses on the floor crying and kicking because you have refused to buy them sweets, it can feel overwhelming and embarrassing, especially in public. You may feel the judgement of others, a pressure to end the scene quickly, or even anger. It is important to remember, however, that this behaviour is not a sign of poor parenting, but a flood of emotion that your child cannot yet manage. The goal is not to end the tantrum immediately, but to guide your child through it with calm authority and compassion. 

Understanding the Emotion Behind the Meltdown 

Children often throw themselves on the floor when their emotional system becomes overloaded. Being told ‘no’ to sweets can trigger a wave of disappointment and frustration, emotions that feel physically unbearable to a young child. Their body reacts before their mind can begin to reason. Recognising this helps you to see the outburst not as defiance, but as a moment of emotional immaturity that requires your calm to help regulate it. 

Grounding Yourself Before Responding 

Before you respond, take a deep breath. Your first task is not to control your child, but to control yourself. Remind yourself: my calm will teach more than my anger ever could. When you remain steady, you are showing your child that big emotions can be met with security, not with shouting. 

A Calm Script for Guidance 

When your child throws themselves on the floor, respond with calm clarity. 

Acknowledge their feelings by saying, ‘I can see you are very upset because I said no to the sweets. You really wanted them.’ Then, restate your boundary kindly: ‘But we are not buying sweets right now. Too much sugar is not good for our bodies.’ It is best to avoid lifting, scolding, or negotiating while the tantrum is in progress. Simply stand nearby and say, ‘I will wait here until you are ready to get up. Take your time.’ This approach replaces a desire for control with calm leadership, teaching them that their emotions can be felt safely, even while boundaries remain firm. 

If the Meltdown Happens in Public 

If this happens in a shop or another crowded place, do not rush to silence or scold them out of embarrassment. Keep your voice soft and your body language neutral. You can say quietly, ‘It is okay to feel upset, but this is not how we ask for things. We can talk when you are calmer.’ If necessary, gently move to a less busy area, give them some space, and wait. Your patience will have a more powerful effect than their crying. 

Reflection After the Moment 

Later, when peace has returned, talk about the incident gently. You might say, ‘You were very upset earlier about the sweets. I understand it is hard to hear no, but lying on the floor and crying does not help. When you ask calmly, I am able to listen much better.’ By praising any small improvements next time, you will reinforce their self-control and maturity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Maintaining your patience during your child’s emotional storm is one of the quietest yet most profound forms of worship. Islam teaches that when anger is met with calmness, and hardship is met with mercy, it is a reflection of true inner strength. When you remain composed as your child loses control, you are living the very essence of sabr (patience) and rahmah (gentleness). 

The Virtue of Restraint in the Quran 

The Quran teaches that goodness shines brightest when it is met with calm kindness. This principle can transform a moment of tension into one of trust. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Fussilat (41), Verse 34: 

‘And the good actions cannot be equivalent to the mistaken action; (therefore) repel (your mistaken action) with that which is a good action…’ 

When your child’s behaviour feels difficult, your gentle response is the ‘better’ way, repelling chaos with your own composure and guiding them back to peace. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Example of Calm in Distress 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that exercising restraint when provoked is an act of immense spiritual value. This is a powerful reminder for any parent in a difficult moment. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4777, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever suppresses anger while able to act upon it, Allah will call him before the heads of creation on the Day of Resurrection.’ 

This Hadith beautifully honours the act of restraint. When your child throws themselves on the floor and you choose calm instead of anger, you are practising the exact patience that the Prophet ﷺ praised: a strength through silence, rewarded by Allah Almighty Himself. 

When your child throws themselves on the floor after you say no, your calm becomes the stillness that steadies the storm. You are teaching that limits come from love, not control, and that anger can be met with mercy, not with an argument. 

Every moment you remain patient turns an act of discipline into one of connection, and a moment of frustration into one of faith. Over time, your child will learn that peace is not what happens when they get what they want; it is what happens when they trust your calm, compassionate ‘no’.