What can I do when my child shouts after I refuse to stop for snacks on the road? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is a moment that tests every parent’s patience: you are on your way somewhere, your child spots a shop selling snacks, and when you say ‘no’, the shouting begins. You might feel embarrassed if others are watching, or frustrated that a simple refusal has turned into an outburst of noise and tears. However, this is not a sign of a ‘spoiled’ child, but a moment of emotional overwhelm. How you handle it becomes a powerful lesson in composure, boundaries, and calm authority. 

The Emotion Beneath the Demand 

When your child shouts for snacks after you have said no, it is not their hunger that is speaking, but their impulse. Children see, want, and react almost instantly. Their young brains have not yet developed the self-control to handle delayed gratification. When you say no, it can feel like a personal rejection, and shouting becomes their way to release that wave of disappointment. Understanding this helps you to shift from a state of frustration to one of empathy. 

A Calm Response in the Storm 

Trying to reason with or scold a child during a shouting episode often fuels the fire. In that moment, they are not processing logic; they are flooded with emotion. Instead of matching their volume or reacting with irritation, focus on grounding yourself. Speak slowly, and if it is safe to do so, maintain eye contact. You could say: 

‘I know you really wanted that snack. We are not stopping right now. I can hear that you are upset, but shouting will not change my answer.’ 

After that, stop speaking. Your silence, paired with a calm presence, is often more powerful than repetition. It is important to resist the temptation to placate them for the sake of peace. Buying the snack ‘just this once’ teaches them that yelling is a successful strategy. 

Offering Connection, Not Concession 

When the shouting begins to subside, you can show them that your love has not faded. You might gently add, ‘I know that was hard for you. Perhaps next time, we can plan to bring a snack from home.’ This tells your child that they can trust your word, and that your ‘no’ is a form of guidance, not rejection. If you sense they are genuinely hungry, you can acknowledge it calmly: ‘I understand you are feeling hungry. Let us have some water for now, and we will eat as soon as we get home.’ 

A Lesson for Next Time 

Later, once calm has been fully restored, you can revisit the moment briefly. You could say, ‘You were very upset earlier when I said no to the snack. It is okay to feel angry, but shouting makes things harder for everyone. Next time, if you use your words calmly, we can talk about it.’ This reflection helps your child to build emotional literacy and self-regulation, lessons that will outlast any single tantrum. 

Spiritual Insight 

Parenting is filled with moments where your patience is tested in public, where your own pride, frustration, and fatigue can collide. These are the quiet tests that refine the soul. When you choose to remain calm instead of reacting, you are not just managing your child’s behaviour; you are practising sabr and embodying mercy, two qualities that Allah Almighty loves deeply. 

The Strength of Patience in Everyday Trials 

The Quran reminds us that true strength lies in patient restraint, especially when we are provoked. When your child’s shouting tempts your own anger, choosing calmness is an act of faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.’ 

Your patience becomes a quiet form of da’wah, teaching your child through your actions that peace, forgiveness, and emotional control are the marks of true maturity and belief. 

Leading with Prophetic Mercy 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that our leadership in the home should be an expression of guidance with compassion, not dominance. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1924, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The merciful are shown mercy by the Most Merciful. Be merciful to those on earth, and the One above the heavens will have mercy upon you.’ 

This Hadith perfectly captures the spirit of gentle authority. When you respond to your child’s shouting with mercy instead of anger, you are reflecting a prophetic character. By staying calm, you teach them that your love is not shaken by their emotions, and that discipline and affection can exist together. 

Every time you remain composed when your child shouts in protest, you are planting the seeds of emotional regulation, faith, and trust. Your calm ‘no’ shows that boundaries are not barriers to love, but expressions of care. 

Over time, your child will learn that shouting does not change an outcome, but patience does. For you, these small victories of restraint are among the most meaningful acts of worship: quiet moments where you embody sabr, reflect mercy, and bring your faith to life through your parenting. 

So the next time your child yells for a snack and you hold steady, remember that you have not just said ‘no’. You have shown, through your actions, that you love them enough to guide them calmly, even when it is hard.